Mistakes

We all make mistakes. Small mistakes. Big mistakes. Mistakes that later become the best decision we could have made. Mistakes that others don’t even see as a mistake.

The problem with mistakes isn’t the mistake itself. Well, sometimes, but not always. For me, it is definitely living in fear every day, every hour, every minute, every second, that I will make a mistake. The fear keeps me from allowing myself to just live. The fear keeps me from reaching higher and higher in life. The fear literally runs my life.

But how did I get to this point? How does anybody get to this point?

I can tell you that I battle with this fear because of my upbringing. I was constantly getting yelled at for almost everything I did. My parents were always yelling at each other for the littlest things. I would get in trouble for everything my sisters did that was wrong in my parents’ mind.

The only mistake I couldn’t make was doing okay in school and graduating. I did better than okay in school, until college. Then I did okay. But that wasn’t a mistake.

Because I was always yelled at, I fear doing absolutely anything wrong. I had a few good years where I just didn’t give a shit. Alcohol enabled those years. I drank entirely too much. Most people would call that a mistake. I don’t. I was able to live almost carefree and just enjoy life. No, I wasn’t true to who I am as a person, but it was freeing to not care.

Once I came back to real life and started to care, my fear ballooned. I wish I could tell you that I’ve overcome this fear and I can tell you how to as well. But I haven’t.

What I can tell you is that I push the fear everyday. I push it so I can see that what I might think will be a mistake, isn’t. I push it so I can grow. Living my life in fear of making mistakes makes living a rewarding and happy life very difficult. To help overcome the fear, I work on my mind and beliefs.

I have a lot of messed up beliefs about life and how things should be. That gives into my fear of making mistakes. So, I listen to self-help books on audible while I get ready for work in the morning. I read self-help when I pick up my Kindle. I embrace those cheesy positivity quotes. I even share them. And I come here to share with you my experiences.

Fear is not easy to overcome. Fear is engrained in all of us. It’s how humans have survived so many years. But our fears do not evolve as we get older without work. Fear will not resolve itself as we coast through life.

Don’t let the fear of making a mistake hold you back in life. Challenge yourself. Break yourself.

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