Rachel Hollis wrote a book directly dedicated to this thought. She talked about all the things that women commonly apologize with. I received this quote on a cute little card in something I ordered from the Hollis Co. and I turned it into a little graphic that I read every day when I go through my gratitude in the morning.
Rachel said this quote in her book Girl, Stop Apologizing and it has resonated with me ever since. I feel like I’m somehow connected to it. Like it is speaking directly to me.
You see, I’ve been apologizing ALL of my life. I seriously mean all of it. I was always getting in trouble, sometimes for things that didn’t even make sense, I had just irritated my parents, so I was always apologizing. I still apologize for a lot of things that happen every single day. You might be asking, then why the hell does this quote resonate with me? Well, because I know and I am working on learning how to live my life without apologizing. I am learning how to be unapologetically me.
I know, the term ‘unapologetically’ is thrown around like its a badge of honor. It isn’t. But yet, it is. Every person defines living unapologetically differently. Some flash it around like a reason to be a douchebag. Some flash it around because they love their not-so-common attire. Some flash it around to be part of the social media movement. But for some of us, it simply means that we are trying to and learning to live our lives for ourselves rather than apologizing for everything.
We want to stop apologizing for everything about who we are. We want to be able to live a free life, loving ourselves without somebody, anybody else telling us we have to apologize for it. We want to lean into who we are without worrying about offending any and everybody. We want to live into being our true unique selves rather than trying to live according to what social deems is socially acceptable.
Going from apologizing for everything to living unapologetically isn’t easy and the road is most definitely not straight. I will have some really good weeks and then bam! I am right back to apologizing for everything. I blame hormones. I blame changes in my overall environment. I blame anything and everything. I apologize for blaming. Then I stop to realize blaming isn’t getting me anywhere fast.
Sitting down and working through the events over the past few days and weeks help me to identify what caused my path to fork. I sit and do thought work (sometimes written, sometimes not) to see what triggered me. Then I gather all of the conclusions I’ve come to and I start again. I start undoing the apologizing and start focusing on what I know I can change. I start releasing my stress again. I lean back into being me and living for me, regardless of the outside world. I create another fork in my path.
I want to stop apologizing because I know that there is so much more happiness on the other side. I know that my life will be more fulfilled when I lean into who I am and stop apologizing for it.
I am me and that is who I’ll be. No apology needed.