I’ve talked about alcohol a bit over the past few months, mainly my decision to quit drinking and the emotions around it. Well, I had been getting the feeling of “why do I have to quit, why not just casually have a drink here or there?” so I let myself enjoy our recent vacation with drinks.
I went 100 days without alcohol and definitely changed my tolerance and my taste. Seltzers weren’t as tasty anymore. Wine was. Bloody Marys were. The taste in my mouth after a few drinks, not so much.
I could immediately tell a difference in my mood, my digestion, and how my body felt. It wasn’t enjoyable. The taste of wine was definitely enjoyable. The rest, not so much.
The last day I had drinks was at the Food and Wine Festival at Epcot. I tried a few tasty things. I got buzzed. But I was ready to cleanse my system of all of the alcohol. I wanted it out. I wanted to feel as great as I had before. I was done.
I made the decision that day that giving up alcohol isn’t something I need to do, it’s something I want to do. I truly feel like a different person without alcohol in my system. It took me taking 100 days away from drinking and then allowing myself to drink freely while on vacation to realize that alcohol no longer serves me. It kinda feels like I made my peace with my drinking days and my decision that I don’t need or want to drink again.
I had felt like I was putting a part of me on hold. I didn’t. I was exploring and learning who I was without this toxin in my body. Yes, alcohol is a toxin. No, I’m not going to get crazy about telling you not to drink. I feel freer to enjoy life now that I know that while I enjoy the taste of wine and some mixed drinks, I don’t enjoy the effects on me.
For me, it is just like wheat and products with gluten. Since I have Celiac Disease, I get royally fucked up if I eat anything with gluten. I gave it up so easily because I wanted to feel better. Now, I am freely giving up alcohol because I want to feel better.
This doesn’t mean I’ll never drink again, but I probably won’t. I won’t buy alcohol for myself. I won’t plan vacations to go drinking. I am going to live my life without focusing on ‘what if’ I had alcohol.
I can’t wait for my body to recover from the alcohol I had on vacation so I can get to feeling my best self again.