Blog

I Don’t Feel Like It

I don’t feel like it. You’ve said that a couple of times, right? Yeah, I thought so. Me too. In fact, I thought that many times before actually sitting down to write this post. But here I am. I am writing this because I want to talk to you about getting shit done even when […]

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Holidays

We are full force into the holiday season and that brings either tremendous joy or immense stress, or both, for each of us. Today, I want to focus on how extended family impacts us. As a child, we always got up and went for both Thanksgiving and Christmas. I do remember being able to open […]

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Happy Thanksgiving

I want to take a moment and thank you for your dedication to reading this blog. Whether you are new here or you have read every post, I sincerely thank you. Today is a day about gratitude and I hope you take time to pause and show yourself some gratitude for who you are and […]

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Stop Treating Me Like I’m Stupid

My husband and I were talking about something recently that hit a trigger of mine. The thing is, I hadn’t realized it was a trigger until after this situation. I can’t even remember what we were talking about, but I remember the feeling I had. It was the feeling that he was saying something in […]

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Protect Your Health

Let me start this off by saying that I’m not using this post to tell you how to be healthy and I’m not giving any tips on how to lose weight. If that is what you are looking for, you won’t find it here. What I am talking about it is what I’m doing to […]

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Kindness

If you are anything like me, you are kinder to everyone but yourself. At least, that is what feels like your first nature. You care more about being kind to someone else because you don’t want to offend them. You are kinder to most strangers than you are to yourself. Sound like you? No, then […]

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Who You Are

I am not smart. I am not worthy. I am not capable. I am not deserving. I don’t work hard enough. I’m not from the right school or family. I am not. I could go on and on about who or what I am not. In fact, I can bring up feelings of who I […]

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Your Close Circle

Have you heard the saying “you are the sum of the five people you spend the most time with”? I’m not sure who first said that or if I have it perfectly accurate word-for-word, but it is all over the personal development community. I shrugged it off for many years thinking that I could beat […]

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My Love Hate Relationship

I’ve talked in multiple other posts about when I quite alcohol and when I quit quitting. Ever since I decided to quit quitting, I’ve allowed myself to imbibe responsibility and in drastically smaller quantities than prior to taking about a year off. But, even with the lower quantities, I have realized something, my body and […]

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Unique and Great

Our society does not embrace anything about anybody being unique. The goal we are taught from a very young age is to be like these people we are told should be our idols. We are taught to be like other people. Uniqueness is not celebrated. Greatness is more often than not only considered being achievable […]

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Life’s Reflection

On Tuesday we talked about taking up space. Today I want to talk about how we are living life. For most of my life I lived my life so I didn’t upset specific people and so I could earn the love of other specific people. As I got older, moved out on my own, and […]

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Welcome to Failing Imperfectly

Failure is a fear so many of us live with each day. We see failure as an absolutely horrible occurrence. We have been engrained with this belief from the time we were little. No matter how hard we try, there is no true perfection that we can live. At least not according to the standard […]

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Taking Up Space

Just like most people my age, or even those older than me, I was told that kids are not meant to be heard. I was yelled at for running, for stomping, for being too loud, for being bossy, for almost everything. Because of that, I developed a complex. I new that if I was noticed […]

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What is Failing Imperfectly?

I brought my dream of sharing life with you to life on June 12, 2018 after many other iterations that I grew out of. Over the past two years, I have been inconsistent and more recently, consistent at sharing my thoughts and learnings with you. I’ve hit heavy topics and I’ve danced around topics. I’ve […]

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Body Image

Body image is something that we, as women, seem destined to always struggle with. No matter what is going on in society any given year, comments on a woman’s body are always a thing. To me, the worst part about body image is that over the years what is seen as the ideal body type […]

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Boundaries

Life without boundaries is a difficult life to live. I only set a few boundaries in my life before a couple of years ago. Those boundaries were removing toxic people from my life that had been toxic for many years. But I had no other boundaries. With being an introvert, I need boundaries so I […]

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Today’s Way of Life

As of writing this post, the United States has been in some sort of COVID-19 limbo for about seven months. A lot of people’s lives have been turned upside down while some haven’t really been affected much at all. To be honest, I don’t know one person who hasn’t been affected in one way or […]

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Finding Motivation

Motivation is a bitch to find. Some days it is slapping us in the face and other days it is nowhere to be found. Days can go by before motivation shows up and then it disappears before it makes any kind of difference. Nothing can be done until motivation shows back up. Just waiting for […]

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I Need A New Year

2020 has been one hell of a year. Thankfully we only have a little over three months left. 2021 will bring so much that is better than this year. Life can finally get back to normal and we can put this shit show of a year behind us. Um, no. That is not how it […]

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Silent Battles

We all have silent battles. Some are things that we will never tell anyone. Some we need to work through and then they go away. Some eat away at us every single day and we don’t even know what battle we are fighting. Silent battles are the unspoken silent connection we have with other people. […]

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Why Don’t We Keep Dating?

Dating is such a wonderful thing. We are energized and excited to get to know another person. We are exploring places we might have already been, but with a new person so it feels new. We hold hands. We hug on each other. We kiss often. So much laughing and giggling and love. Then as […]

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I Embrace Me

As I’ve talked about many, many times, I’ve always struggled with being true to who I am. I’ve never truly embraced me for me. Until recently. I am really starting to get the hang of just being me. Me as a happy person, me as a grumpy person, me as a friend and a wife, […]

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I Quit Quitting

So remember a few months ago I talked about quitting alcohol? Maybe it was more than just a few months, but it feels like it was just yesterday. Well, I quit quitting. What does that even mean? Well, it means I am drinking again. But, I’m not drinking like I had been. In fact, my […]

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The Power of Fear

Fear has power over each and every one of us, even if we don’t want to admit it. Fear is a natural basic instinct that can easily control so much of what we do. I, from personal experience, know how debilitating life can be to live through the power that fear has over me. It […]

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Give Yourself Some Credit

When you stop to look at your life and where you’ve come since some date, say high school, do you ever give yourself credit? Or do you tell yourself that you haven’t done enough? To be honest, until I heard this in some video I was watching, I hadn’t really thought about it. I am […]

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Free

I’ve always wanted to be like that girl who is free from judgement or care about judgement and is just herself. You know that girl who dances like nobody is watching, laughs as loud as her laugh comes out, is silly, can pick up and randomly do whatever, says what is on her mind, and […]

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I Don’t Qualify

Have you ever muttered these words to yourself? Did you just have movie reel roll through displaying all of the times you have, or did you say no? If you said no, I would like to meet you because everybody I know has disqualified themselves at one point or another. How do I know that? […]

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It’s Time to Rebuild

Life is a lot different today compared to just a couple of months ago. If there is anybody who can say that it isn’t, please tell them to share their story with me. I mean, how can it not be? Everyone went through the toilet paper rush and the lack of meat in stores and […]

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How Do You Talk to Yourself?

My journey to self-love and healing has involved a lot of changes to how I speak. Not only to others, but to myself. Most importantly to myself. How I speak to myself has been absolutely shitty for most of my life. I most definitely cannot say I have perfectly corrected how I speak to myself, […]

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Not Quite 60

Tomorrow my mom would have been 60. She should be having a party to celebrate her milestone year, but she died from Alzheimer’s when she was 56. I stopped talking to her for the final time when she was 49. Even before that, for the four or five years prior, I didn’t hardly speak to […]

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Who Am I?

I am Crystal, a strong, beautiful woman. I am a women who knows her values and lives by them. I am a proud, successful woman who never settles for less than what I know I can earn through hard work and dedication. I am an adventurer. I am me. Notice, I didn’t say I am […]

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It’s Good For Me

One of the things I share the most here is about my struggle to live for myself and put myself first. Each and every time I write about it, I’ve learned something new or I just need to get something off of my chest. Today I was inspired by Trent Shelton. His message in the […]

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Recap: I’m an Empath

Now that I’ve gone through every one of the 15 Signs You Might Be an Empath that I resonate with (I think I only skipped one), I would like to have a discussion with you. What resonated the most with you?Did you learn anything about yourself in reading the article or my posts? Let’s have […]

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The Overload is Real

Until recent years, I never heard anything about people acknowledging being overwhelmed or overloaded, especially not in reference to emotions or sensory processing. I think the first time I heard of sensory overload was in reference to an autistic child. I know those who are autistic probably have a completely different level of sensory overload […]

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I’m A Giver

I’m a giver of my time. Of my love. Of my trust. Of my dedication. I give so much that I forget that boundaries are okay. In fact, I have a hell of a time actually setting boundaries. Most empaths don’t know how to set boundaries OR have a difficult time enforcing them. Boundaries are […]

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Do I Belong?

Empaths tend to have a difficult time feeling as though they fit in. To make it even worse, we also tend to isolate ourselves. Together, these two things keep us in this constant feeling of being lost. At least that is how I interpret the feeling. For about 99 percent of my life I have […]

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Conflict Sucks

I have spent so much of my life avoiding conflict with others. I would mold myself to situations to avoid conflict. I would stop talking to people when it got uncomfortable and I thought there was conflict. It was as though conflict was one of the worst things that could happen in my life. I […]

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I Have Got to Recharge

I am one who needs to recharge frequently. Whether it be simply from working five days a week or because I’ve been around a lot of people, I need time to get my mind right. Now, let me tell you what ‘getting my mind right’ really means for me. It means a couple of things. […]

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Sensitive to Sounds and Smells

Another item on the list explaining the traits of an empath is the sensitivity to sounds, smells, or sensations. I don’t see myself as being sensitive to sensations, but I sure am sensitive to sounds and smells. For me, my sensitivity to smells is primarily that I can smell things much more intensely, much faster, […]

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I Am A Vault

I am a vault for all of my friends’ problems. I am a vault for anybody’s problems. I haven’t always been this way though. My need to be liked and my craving for people caused me to break barriers I never thought I would. It also caused me to do anything to keep the attention […]

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I Care About Everything

Literally EVERYTHING. I have always cared about everything. It has always weighed me down. Caring about everything is an extension of feeling everything that others feel. It is something that I didn’t realize that I did until just a few years ago. I couldn’t understand why I was always stressed. I couldn’t understand why this […]

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Why Are There So Many People

I hate crowds. HATE crowds. In any situation. For many different reasons. Crowds stress me out and ruin my mood. It doesn’t matter if the crowd is the crowds at the mall, in the mountains, or large family gatherings. Crowds are not for me. I used to think this was just a factor of being […]

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Nature is Where My Soul is Happiest

One characteristic of an empath is that we take comfort in nature. This describes me more than some people will ever realize. I can go into nature by myself and not need anything. I could wander for hours simply taking in the nature around me. I love stepping out of a vehicle into the forest […]

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My Intuition Has Served Me Well So Far

Intuition is defined as the ability to understand something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning. In more simple terms and how most of us refer to intuition, it is a thing that one knows or consider likely from instinctive feeling rather than conscious reasoning. Some people simply refer to intuition as their gut feeling. […]

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You Are Too Close

Part of who I am yearns for closeness and feeling love from others. But the rest of me yearns for solitude. It is a difficult balance that I used to ignore by drinking alcohol to be more social. Alcohol released my feeling of overwhelm or nervousness when around others, especially large groups. I used to […]

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I Have a Lot of Empathy

What is empathy and how do I know if I have it? Is it really something I can “have?” According to Psychology Today, empathy is the ability to recognize, understand, and share the thoughts and feelings of another person, animal, or fictional character. Empathy is not to be confused with sympathy. Sympathy is the feeling […]

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I’m Sensitive

For the majority of my life I put on a front and pushed myself to be a badass who isn’t sensitive. I may be a female but I’m not a girl! I had no intention of being viewed as “just a girl” or as a sensitive person. I was taught those were negative and weak. […]

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Live in The Moment

I’m sure you’ve had someone tell you this a time or two. Or you’ve been the one telling someone else. Is living in the moment easy for you? It is, then this post may only help you understand those of us who can’t. If living in the moment is a struggle for you, you are […]

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Why Am I Stressed?

I have been asking myself this a lot lately and haven’t been able to put my finger on a specific answer. Then I get more stressed because I can’t figure it out. Stress is a vicious cycle for me that comes out towards others. Stress is a battle I have fought all of my life […]

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Be A Warrior

Be a fucking warrior. You do you girl. Who the fuck cares if you have a little extra to love? Love yourself no matter what you look like. Love you for who you are, not what the world sees. Don’t take no for an answer. Failures are only speed bumps. Go after what you want. […]

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Thoughts About Family

I’ve seen so many quotes that say things like “family is everything” or “blood is thicker than water.” These are all over social media and people use them in everyday conversation. The underlying theme is that, no matter what, family sticks together. I wish life was as simple as that. For some families, it is. […]

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The Reason is Fear

My last post was a follow up to one from a couple months ago and today’s post is kind of a summarization of what I’m realizing the common theme is. The theme is fear. The reason is fear. Fear is what causes my need to people please. Fear is the root of feeling like I […]

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Follow Up: I Can’t Do What I Need in My Own Home

I wrote Fear: I Can’t Do What I Need in My Own Home a few months ago, but I have returned to this fear and to this struggle. This time is different. I offered to let a friend stay with us until her renters move out at the end of May. She has stayed with us […]

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Special

I just want to feel special. Ever had that feeling? No? Are you sure? I thought I was above that kind of need. I didn’t want to be a person who needed to feel special. I saw those people as being self-centered. Until I started doing self-care and personal growth. Then I realized that it […]

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Fused Thoughts

During my guided meditation this morning, the idea of fused thoughts was brought to my attention. I had never heard the concept before, but as soon as it was explained, a light bulb went off in my thoughts sending me in so many different directions. It’s as though this concept of fused thoughts explains so […]

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I Am Truly Blessed

My birthday is coming up and my mother-in-law and two of my sister-in-laws asked me what I wanted. I honestly had no idea what to tell them. Things that I want at this point of my life are pretty expensive because I simply buy the little things. Right now, what I want includes a new […]

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Fear of the Future

I sat down tonight to work on my road map to accomplish my dreams. I sat down to listen to Rachel Hollis explain how she does it and during the meditation, a realization hit me in the face. I am afraid of the future. I am afraid to fully let myself dream and see myself […]

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Just Do It

Remember that slogan that Nike uses? Yeah, I’m not talking about that today. Today I’m talking about just getting better or just being better or just stop caring about what others think. I’m talking about being told to just do it. I’m talking about the feeling of ‘why can’t I just flip a switch and […]

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Leaning into PMS

Another one of my triggers is the PMS effects I deal with right before and as I’m starting my period. And this past period was no different. In fact, I leaned in HARD to the effects. I took a look at my tracking calendar, thought I had the right date, and decided instead of the […]

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Clarity

According to a Google search, clarity is defined as the quality of being coherent and intelligible. But what does clarity really mean? In my opinion, that may be different depending on who you ask. Today, clarity might mean something completely different to me than it did a month ago or will in a year. Either […]

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Embarrassed

Embarrassed. That’s how I have lived most of my life. I’ve always been embarrassed for one reason or another. Why? Because I heard so many negative things about so many people, including me, that I was so afraid to be one of those people who prompted the negativity. I didn’t want to continue being the […]

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Excuses

Excuses, we all have them. Chances are, you, like me, try to justify an excuse. Chances are, you don’t know that what you are saying is truly just an excuse because you believe in it so deeply. In You Are A Badass Everyday Jen Sincero states “We get extremely defensive about our excuses, because excuses […]

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Making Fun of Me

Growing up I was made fun of for my clothes, my shoes, my hair, my home, my parents, my face, my glasses, my everything. I was continuously told everything that was wrong about me. Including being smart. It gave me a complex that I’m still working on today. There is a lot of baggage there […]

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Rise to Your Potential

Never let a good crisis go to waste. It’s the universe challenging you to learn something new and rise to the next level of your potential.” Kristen Ulmer I read this quote in Tribe of Mentors by Tim Ferriss and immediately it dawned on me that this is life right now. We are all living […]

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Limiting Beliefs

Limiting beliefs have plagued my life for as long as I can remember. The difference between now and the past is that I actually know what limiting beliefs are and how to identify them. The problem today is whether or not I stop long enough to check-in with myself to identify the limiting beliefs floating […]

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Feeling Good in a Shitty Time

The last few weeks have not been normal, for any of us. Some of our lives have truly been negatively impacted. Some of our lives are just different enough that we feel the need to sit and complain all day. Some of us our simply lost with the new simplicity of life. The thing we […]

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My Abundance of Time

Our lives have all been turned upside down. From the local economy to the world as a whole, nothing is the same as it was just a couple of months ago. So much has changed in such a short time. Time is what so many of us want more of, yet we don’t do anything […]

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Stop Apologizing

Rachel Hollis wrote a book directly dedicated to this thought. She talked about all the things that women commonly apologize with. I received this quote on a cute little card in something I ordered from the Hollis Co. and I turned it into a little graphic that I read every day when I go through […]

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Relapse

Just the other day I was coasting along through life doing absolutely fantastic at identifying when my inner critic chimed in and started leading me down a path, or when my anxiety was starting to flare and cause panic, or even when I was about to go down a road of fear, misunderstanding, and old […]

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I Don't Know How to Set Goals

I’m not a goal setter. Goals are too restrictive. I was never taught how to set goals. Goals aren’t achievable in my life. I’ve set goals before but have never accomplished them, it’s no use. Have you ever caught yourself saying or thinking any of those? I have. The one I used to use the […]

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I Don't Know How to Dream

This is not an uncommon thought. I was one of the people who didn’t know how to dream for many years. At least, that is what I thought. I was wrong. I may not have thought that I knew how to dream, but I knew I was able to push forward. In all that I […]

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Let Your Inner You Come Out

Let your inner you out to have fun and come alive. I’m not sure where I heard this, but it immediately resonated with me. I am one who has been extremely rigid in my way of living in the past few years. I cared so much about other people’s opinions that I didn’t let myself […]

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Dreams

There is so much programming out there telling us to “follow your dreams” or “let your imagination run wild” or even “you can be anything your heart desires.” The problem with this programming is that it isn’t universal. Depending on where you grow up and where you come from, you might not have dreams, an […]

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Consistency And Stability

My parents got divorced when I was 12. Every year after that, my mother moved us to a new home or moved our trailer to a new location. We were always moving. Gone were the days of any consistency with life. Stability? Yeah that didn’t exist either. I moved out when I was 17 and […]

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Fear: I Can’t Do What I Need in My Own Home

Not long ago we had company for a week. Company that we love having and wouldn’t want to push away. But I work from home. And I tend to work in more locations than just the office with the desk. I have a lounger section of our couch and the kitchen counter that I work […]

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Are You a Chameleon?

Do you mold yourself to the people around you? Do you change to fit into the situation you are in? Are you a chameleon? I was. I was for most of my life and it defined who I was. I didn’t know how to be anything different. Being a chameleon for me meant that I […]

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NQTD

When you make a decision, how often do you question it? Are you like me and question most decisions you make? No? Okay, well maybe this isn’t for you then. Yes? Oh then stay tuned. Why do we question decisions? I have learned that I question my decisions because I haven’t trusted myself. It’s a […]

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They Aren’t In My Life For A Reason

I have many people who I do not allow in my life for various reasons. I have some people that I’ve allowed back into my life, but I’m struggling giving them full access again. There are some people I have on a line of whether or not I continue to associate with them. Many people […]

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When Caring Turns Into I’m Not Good Enough

I am learning more and more that I care about people more than most. What I mean by that is that I am always finding ways to make other people feel good or to take care of others or to lift their spirits. I do it because I love seeing people’s eyes light up or […]

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Freedom

All of my life, I was looking outside of myself for freedom to be myself or freedom to be successful or even just the freedom to be loved. As a child, I witnessed that all of these came from external sources. The primary example I had was that nothing good came to me if it […]

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Alzheimer’s Gene

A few months ago I decided to finally take a risk and do the 23andMe health test to see if I have the APOE4 gene, the gene that is most referred to as being a risk factor for Alzheimer’s. Before I get into that, let me give you a little back story. My maternal grandmother […]

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Do I Have The Right Attitude?

For a lot of people when they hear the term attitude, they think about some person being sassy or down right rude. They don’t jump to consider how attitude plays a part in our every day life. They don’t consider their own attitude. I didn’t consider my attitude for most of my life. I didn’t […]

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What Are You Committed To?

Are you committed to your goals or to your excuses? Do you even know? I used to think that I was committed to my goals, but I kept making excuses. I had some goals that yes, I was absolutely committed to. I wanted to have a better life than my parents. I wanted to explore […]

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Valentine’s Day

I hate Valentine’s Day. There, I said it. So why am I writing about it? Because there is a stigma and way too much fucking pressure on our society to honor this holiday. We have to stop letting the commercialization of holidays dictate how we live. Yes, this post is all about a rant that […]

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Who Are You Listening To?

I saw this in a post the other day and felt strongly about how well it represented my life. There is so much meaning in this simple graphic. I am a critical thinker. I think critically about pretty much everything. And then I overthink it. And overthink it some more. It is a vicious cycle […]

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Won’t You Regret…

…pushing your parents out of your life? Yes. No. Maybe. Probably not. I know so many people who have wonderful relationships with their parents, or at least one of their parents. I know people who wish they knew their parents. I know people who have bit the bullet and tolerate relationships with their parents. I […]

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You Are in Control of What You Accept

Each and every day we control what we allow into our lives and what we don’t. We allow that boss to be a dick to us. We allow the person who cut us off in traffic to get on our nerves. We allow ourselves to be nitpicky at our spouses for not taking out the […]

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It’s Easy For Her…

…there is no way I could ever be like her. Have you ever thought that? I have. It is defeating. It is depressing. But there is so much wrong with that thought. It took me years to realize it and learn how to overcome it every time that I encountered it. Now, I see that […]

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Your Thoughts Will Run or Ruin Your Life

  I have lived within my thoughts all of my life. My thoughts ran and at some points, ruined my life. We have been programmed without even knowing it and that programming turns into our thoughts, both unconscious and conscious. These thoughts are what contributes to how we act, our anxiety, our depression, and what […]

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Give Your Trust Away

I’ve heard this from a couple of the mentors that I follow. Gary Vee and Trent Shelton say this over and over again. I have been doing this for most of my life without any though. It was only in the past couple of years that I started to pull back on giving my trust […]

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I Am Not Mediocre

Mediocrity is how so many of us live our lives. Mediocrity is how we fit in with society. We don’t want to be too over the top so people don’t judge us. We don’t want to fall behind because that life is hard. We want to be right in the middle because the middle is […]

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Judging Myself

All of my life I have wanted to be taken seriously. I stopped playing with toys quickly. I didn’t want to wear anything that resembled cartoon characters I liked. I stopped watching animated movies. I wanted to be mature and smart. But I never judged anybody who wore character clothing or watched animated movies. I […]

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I Need A Mentor

I need a mentor. You need a mentor. How the hell do I find a mentor?! I’ve asked myself this question for years. I’ve always heard successful people talking about their mentors and how they recommend everyone having a mentor. But I didn’t know how to find one who would take me on as a […]

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My Own Path

When I first started out on this journey with this blog, I was under the impression that once I hit it big and was making good money, I would quit my project management career and be a full-time blogger. I then advanced that thought to becoming a well-respected life coach. Either way, I saw the […]

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I’m An Overthinker

Overthinking is what I do best. I can and will overthink for just about anything. It is truly a problem. Are you an overthinker? Overthinking affects our lives more than we probably would like to admit. We zero in and focus on a specific topic and think about all the possibilities. Usually, the possibilities that […]

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Are You Asking The Right Questions?

I am a very black and white person. It is or it isn’t. I only see gray on a few things, like my professional career. For most of my life, I ask the black and white questions: Can I do X without failing? This usually holds me back. It keeps me from exploring that thing […]

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YouTube Channel Has Launched!!!

Hello my Imperfect Warriors!! I wanted to let you know that I have launched the Failing Imperfectly YouTube channel. I will be uploading one video per week and will have similar content to what you read here. Take a look and enjoy! Have a great weekend!

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I Am Me

I am me, regardless of my weight. I am me, regardless of my salary. I am me, regardless of my job. I am me, regardless of who my immediate family is. I am me and that is who I will be. I am me and I am learning to be comfortable with who I am. I have spent most […]

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Doubt Kills More Than Failure

All my life I have been afraid of failing. It has never been one thing specifically, rather, failing at anything and everything. The thing that I didn’t know and that you’ve probably heard over and over again, is that everyone who is successful has failed. They have failed repeatedly. Success doesn’t mean we don’t fail. […]

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Life’s A Bitch

I heard this phrase more often than not when growing up. It was usually expanded on with “Life’s a bitch, then you die.” My parents would say that. That was their whole outlook on life. They seriously could not find anything good in any situation. Life was only negative and only happened to them. When […]

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