Special

I just want to feel special.

Ever had that feeling? No? Are you sure?

I thought I was above that kind of need. I didn’t want to be a person who needed to feel special. I saw those people as being self-centered.

Until I started doing self-care and personal growth. Then I realized that it is okay to want to feel special. In fact, feeling special is such a good feeling that not many people get to experience.

By now, if you have read any number of my other posts, you might recognize that I wasn’t really ever made to feel special growing up. I grew to believe that I didn’t deserve it. (See What We Deserve) I made events like my wedding about everybody else. I didn’t even demand to have much for myself, it was all to make sure everybody enjoyed the day and everybody else was taken care of. Oh and things went according to schedule. I truly regret this about my wedding. But I didn’t know any better.

It is only within the past few weeks that I have started to allow myself to desire feeling special. So I thought. Well, at least in conversations with my husband. But during my meditation this morning, I realized that I was holding onto a past dream because of the feelings of being special I have wrapped around it.

I have been holding onto the feeling of getting pregnant and the baby shower that is all about me and the baby. I have been holding onto the dream of feeling a baby move within me while having people be interested in me without there being some health issue that I’m working through. I’ve been holding onto what I deemed the love that I would finally get because I got pregnant.

I wanted to feel special and in my subconscious, getting pregnant would give me those feelings.

I don’t have to get pregnant to be special. I’m not going to get pregnant just to feel special. That doesn’t work anyways.

I just have to treat myself as though I am special. I cannot expect anybody else to do it for me. To feel special, I have to start treating myself that way.

I want to feel special and I am going to treat myself as though I am.

Fused Thoughts

During my guided meditation this morning, the idea of fused thoughts was brought to my attention. I had never heard the concept before, but as soon as it was explained, a light bulb went off in my thoughts sending me in so many different directions. It’s as though this concept of fused thoughts explains so much about how my mind behaves.

I knew I had to share this concept with you and did some quick research to look more into it. In “Are You and Your Thoughts the Same?” on Psychology Today, Sarah-Nicole Bostan provides the following definition of cognitive fusion:

Cognitive fusion is a construct stemming from Relational Frame Theory which forms the basis of Acceptance & Commitment Therapy and is understood as a state in which one is unable to distinguish between the content of one’s own mind and what he or she is actually experiencing in the world.

It makes complete sense to me. My mind will run absolutely wild thinking of all of these scenarios, usually scenarios that involve conflict, and will cause tension within myself. Not only do those thoughts cause immediate tension within myself, they cause a sense of tension walking into situations with people in the future. It’s as though my mind only knows how to plan out future situations with scenarios involving some kind of conflict that I am involved in because others harass or bully me. I can think back to many different times that my mind has created these scenarios and then I get to the situation in question and I already feel on the defensive.

It’s time to stop these thoughts. It’s time to work on these fused thoughts and stop allowing them to negatively dictate my future. But first, why does my mind immediately go to negative situations?

I believe my mind, and probably yours too, jumps to negative scenarios because that is part of our subconscious fight or flight programming. It is easier for our minds to see the negative or potentially harmful scenarios because that is what our brain was designed to do so many years ago. Now that we all live in a vastly different world than when our lizard brain was formed, we have this pent up fear that isn’t as vital to most of our lives today. I believe that pent up fear is what causes our minds to jump to negative scenarios with the automatic cognitive fusion that we are experiencing.

So, how do we change this automatic process? We take it one step at a time and start to notice when these thoughts are occurring. Of course, we won’t be able to always identify every single instance, but if we start trying and we start identifying more and more, we will begin to take over the cognitive fusion process.

During my meditation, the lesson on how to change the trajectory of these thoughts was to first identify when they are occurring. If we can start to recognize when these thoughts are taking over, we can start to change them. The meditation suggested that once we identify the fused thought, we mark it as ‘noted’ and change what we are thinking. I want to take that a step further in how I plan to use this method. Note the thought, acknowledge it and say thank you but I’ve got this. Then change the scenario. Who was being a bitch to you? How were you getting hurt? Change it. That person is showing you more love than you’ve ever experienced from them. That situation you were getting hurt in is now a situation that you are shining in.

I truly believe that these fused thoughts are part of what keeps me limiting myself. So instead of just trying to push the thoughts away, I want to refrain them to help me grow into appreciating and celebrating myself. I want to refrain them to my advantage.

In my quick research to share this thought with you, I also came across a list of other methods to defuse the cognitive fusion. I only resonate with a couple of them, so those are the ones that I am going to share. They follow along the paths that I’ve been using for my current growth process.

Name your mind with a capital M. Using this method, the suggestion is to think of your mind as a separate entity and give it a name, Mind. When you identify one of these thoughts, or simply some anxious thoughts, acknowledge them by saying “There goes Mind again” or “Mind is at it again telling me how everybody hates me”. This method is very similar to what Andrea Owen suggests for identifying and naming your inner critic. So no matter what you name that inner voice, acknowledge it for the lies it is telling you and tell it to fuck off.

This one is a fun one that I actually adapted to how I know I can use it. Imagine you are sitting in a car listening to some awesome music, then a shitty song comes on that just makes you feel horrible. What are you going to do? You change the channel. When your mind goes into one of these fused thoughts that you can identify, change the channel. Your mind sent you down a path that your family member is telling you much you keep fucking up? Change the channel. You walk into their home and they are happy to see you and give you a compliment and a hug and welcome you in. They ask about your life and share theirs. It’s a loving situation.

No matter what method you use, or what combination of them, I know that these will help you, and me. I truly believe that if we can get a hold of our unconscious thoughts, we will be able to improve our anxieties and our life ten fold.

How are you going to work on your fused thoughts? Do you have any common ones you can identify right now?

I Am Truly Blessed

My birthday is coming up and my mother-in-law and two of my sister-in-laws asked me what I wanted. I honestly had no idea what to tell them. Things that I want at this point of my life are pretty expensive because I simply buy the little things. Right now, what I want includes a new camera body or additional mods to add to my 4Runner. I would never ask them for any of that because I don’t want them to spend that much money on me.

As I sat trying to figure out what to tell them, I realized how truly blessed I am. I go through my life every single day writing down the simple things I am grateful for from the last 24 hours and acknowledging other things I am grateful for as I am finishing my morning meditation, but I don’t stop and think about everything I am truly blessed with. These days, with the economy the way it is and people losing their jobs because of COVID, I am at what feels like, a unique spot in life. I am blessed to still have my well paying job with a company that is continuing to break barriers in our industry.

I am also blessed to have my home and all of our stuff that we can simply purchase as we want or need. Compared to when I was growing up, I don’t have to go without anything. If I want something, I buy it or I save and buy it. I am healthy, have what I need or want, and live in a safe place.

You know that saying ‘stop and smell the roses’, well, the same applies to gratitude. Stop and take notice of what you are blessed with. Be grateful for whatever you have along with your health. There are people who are far less fortunate than we are. I am truly blessed and grateful for everything.

Fear of the Future

I sat down tonight to work on my road map to accomplish my dreams. I sat down to listen to Rachel Hollis explain how she does it and during the meditation, a realization hit me in the face. I am afraid of the future. I am afraid to fully let myself dream and see myself in that dream. I’ve been holding myself back because I can’t see myself in the future that I’m trying to create for myself.

I’m still stuck in the future that we left behind. I’m stuck and I haven’t allowed myself to grieve and move on the way I need to. I have let my fear of a different future hold me back.

The future I am stuck in has us raising children. I don’t know why I’m stuck there, we have made the decision and I’m truly happy with the decision to not have children. Maybe there’s a part of me that still wants to feel the baby growing within me. Maybe there’s a part of me that doesn’t want to let go just yet.

I am happy without children. I have found oh so many blessings in not having children. I couldn’t consciously imagine having children anymore, it just isn’t part of my life. But when I daydream as I’m falling asleep, I can’t envision a different future.

I have spent so much of my life daydreaming different scenarios of having children. I have spent so many sleepless nights conjuring up these amazing futures in imagination of children and happiness.

But I haven’t pivoted those dreams. I haven’t pivoted those thoughts right as I fall asleep. I haven’t fully allowed myself to move on.

As I was listening to Rachel, I realized that I have been fearful of the unknown. I don’t know people in my inner circle who have lived child-free lives. I don’t know what that looks like. I don’t know where I want to be in five years let alone ten years. I haven’t allowed myself to fully dream the new dreams.

I have work to do. I am going to get back to this video and start working on dreaming up my new future. I am going to push through the fear of the unknown to create a new future, even if I don’t have any examples of what I’m going to dream up.

Where do you see yourself in five years? What about ten years?

Just Do It

Remember that slogan that Nike uses? Yeah, I’m not talking about that today. Today I’m talking about just getting better or just being better or just stop caring about what others think. I’m talking about being told to just do it. I’m talking about the feeling of ‘why can’t I just flip a switch and be who I want to be’?

I’ve been told ‘just stop’ for many things be a few people. They think that it is easy to just flip a switch and stop worrying or stop having anxiety. They tell me to ‘just stop’ but they continue to criticize for the same things. We like to say it is because of them that we can’t move on.

Wrong.

It is our choice to listen to them and digest what they are telling us. It is our choice to shut them down when they go on another rant at us. It is our choice to stick up for ourselves. We simply have to just do it. It’s that simple.

Except it isn’t. Why? Why isn’t it that simple? Because there are a lot of emotions and feelings and subconscious thoughts that we have never controlled before. Hell, we’ve probably never even acknowledged any of the emotions or feelings. So no, we can’t just do it.

What about those of us who have been working on self-care and growth for months or years? Shouldn’t it be easy to just do it? I mean, some people think so. But it really isn’t that easy.

I am here to tell you that I go through ups and downs every single day, week, month. As I am writing this, I am getting ready to watch RiseX Live with a beautiful morning. I feel fucking fantastic and like all of my struggles are washed away. But then I realized, how the hell can I not maintain this feeling and confidence every single moment of every single day?

Because it isn’t that easy. It takes work and focus and intentionality. I look back and realize that anytime my subconscious and emotions take over, I am not focusing and I am not being intentional. You see, all that work I do, all that learning I’ve been doing, I have to keep doing it. I have to be diligent and consistent and intentional in bringing what I’m learning to how I live my every single day.

Growing and living the life that we really want isn’t about just doing it. It’s about the ups and the downs and the learning and the application. As Rachel Hollis says, “knowledge isn’t power, applied knowledge is power.”

So yes, just apply the knowledge. Apply it every single day. And when you take a step backward, that’s okay. Keep going. Don’t live in that backward space. Acknowledge it and journal on it to discover and unpack what is in that space.

Leaning into PMS

Another one of my triggers is the PMS effects I deal with right before and as I’m starting my period. And this past period was no different. In fact, I leaned in HARD to the effects. I took a look at my tracking calendar, thought I had the right date, and decided instead of the exhaustion and attitude catching me off-guard, I was going to ease into it and accept it. Except the date was wrong and quarantine started getting to me.

In other words, I was a week early for easing into my PMS and therefore exacerbated the effects that being home ALL the time and the change of life had on me. I leaned into my fears and triggers from my past more and I leaned into my grouchiness. I was just waiting for the exhaustion to hit. I gave into all of the sugar cravings with the thought that they would subside in a couple days. I didn’t thoroughly think through communications at work.

I made my own life a small version of hell because I was trying to lean into PMS. It backfired on me, big time.

So what’s the solution? Watch the calendar more closely? Let my PMS symptoms hit me life a freight train every month? Ignore it all and just push through everything and tell myself to “just get over it”?

No, my solution for next month is to plan better. I can structure my goals and results lists around the phase of the month I’m in. I can plan camping and adventures around the days that tend to be my worst. I can be prepared without having to watch the calendar daily. I can take daily inventory of my mood and feelings (hello journaling). I can be more intentional.

How do you prepare or handle the PMS symptoms that knock you on your ass every month?

Clarity

According to a Google search, clarity is defined as the quality of being coherent and intelligible. But what does clarity really mean? In my opinion, that may be different depending on who you ask.

Today, clarity might mean something completely different to me than it did a month ago or will in a year. Either way, clarity is something I know I’ve been striving to achieve for a really long time. The thought was that clarity would give me peace and direction in my life. I just needed to achieve clarity to get where I wanted to go.

Today, I feel that I was wrong in that assumption. Today, clarity means something different. Today, I feel as though I have a slice of clarity as I’m coming out of an episode of stress and a bit of depression. My slice of clarity comes from reflecting on what my triggers were over the past few weeks and what caused me the most pain during that time. I shared a little of it with you in my last post Embarrassed.

My triggers tend to always lead to one overarching topic – my past. I have given and continue to give complete control over my life to my past. It is defeating and limiting. It is stressful and depressing. It holds me back.

Today, as I’m writing this, I feel like I’m finally understanding what I need to do to have more clarity in life. I need to stop giving my past so much power over me. But how? Haven’t I come to this conclusion before? Probably. And I might come to it many times over before something finally changes. That is part of growth.

Everything that I’ve been struggling with in the past few weeks has roots in my past. Some people would say just get over it. Some would say that our past defines us. I want to just get over it, but every time I try that approach, I end up right here. My past has defined me for my entire life. I’m tired of it. I’m tired of giving my past complete control over my life. I want clarity to mean that I can identify when my past is triggering me, work through it, and come out of the trigger before ever hitting the stressed or slightly depressed point.

The definition I want clarity to mean to me is that I am clear on my triggers, clear on my steps to overcome them, and clear on my goals and direction in life.

To get to that definition, I have to take steps everyday to release the power that my past has over me. I have to acknowledge my fears and address them.

What does clarity mean to you?

Embarrassed

Embarrassed. That’s how I have lived most of my life.

I’ve always been embarrassed for one reason or another. Why? Because I heard so many negative things about so many people, including me, that I was so afraid to be one of those people who prompted the negativity. I didn’t want to continue being the person people made fun of for anything and everything. I didn’t want to be the person that my parents talked so much shit about.

I tried and succeed at so many things in life, but I’ve still been embarrassed about them. Bachelors degree. Check. Embarrassed about it? You betcha. Master degree. Check. Embarrassed about it? Even more so than the bachelor degree. Being hired for a high paying job. Check. Embarrassed about it? Absofuckinglutely. Live in a beautiful house that we’ve renovated to make beautiful. Check. Embarrassed about it? Yup.

I can go on and on and on about everything I’m embarrassed about. Hell, in a lot of situations I’m even embarrassed about the quality of my marriage. Why? Why am I so embarrassed about all of these things?

Because in my parents eyes, I am too good for other people. I am the person they would incessantly talk shit about. I am living the life that my parents never could imagine actually having. They could only see it from afar and talk shit about it. When you are a young, impressionable child, that leaves a lasting impact. For me, it left a scar. For others, it determines how limited the child will become.

If I’ve been so successful so far, then why does this quote make sense to me?

Trent said this in one of his podcasts recently among a lot of other truths. This one, this one really stuck with me.

I am not more successful in my personal endeavors because I’m embarrassed about getting successful. I’m too embarrassed about what my parents would say so I hold myself back. Most people refer to what their parents would say about wearing a racy outfit or the like. My early life was spent hearing other criticisms.

So what am I going to do about it?

Put one foot forward. Remind myself that my success depends on me breaking the barriers and stigma that is so ingrained in my subconscious. I’m going to keep going. I’m going to keep posting these posts and posting my YouTube videos regardless of how few followers I have. I am going to keep working on developing my style of overlanding YouTube sharing. I am not going to give up because I am embarrassed. I am going to push through that discomfort because the only path to the success that I want is through the embarrassment and fear.

Remember my Imperfect Warriors, you already have what it takes, believe in yourself and crush
every failure on your way to your dreams. Let’s be imperfect together.

Excuses

Excuses, we all have them. Chances are, you, like me, try to justify an excuse. Chances are, you don’t know that what you are saying is truly just an excuse because you believe in it so deeply.

In You Are A Badass Everyday Jen Sincero states “We get extremely defensive about our excuses, because excuses free us from taking responsibility for our lives.” I can easily think back to many times that I was adamant about what I was saying or doing and realize that I was just rattling off excuses. Excuses are part of every person’s life regardless of how successful or centered they are. Excuses are something that we will always have to overcome.

If you look back to my previous post, Making Fun of Me, you will probably be able to identify some pretty obvious excuses in it. I sure do.

It is easier to look back and identify excuses than to identify them when you are living them. In fact, I only occasionally can identify excuses right when I’m making them. I can sit here writing all of this and realize that almost every reason I have after work and after dinner to not work on my dreams are probably just excuses. One of my biggest excuses is that Eddie just wants to watch TV. So?! Why can’t I do something else? Because I just want to relax on the couch and not in my office and I can’t write or read or do a coaching with the TV on.

I keep letting this excuses hold me back over and over and over. It is one of my most frequent excuses I use. How do I overcome it? By being intentional and finding other places to sit and relax. Yes, my couch is comfortable as hell, but so is my bean bag in my nerd nook. And soon the chairs on the porch will be usable because it will be warm enough for me to sit outside. Remember all of those years laying in bed reading when I were growing up that you treasured? Why don’t I do the same thing now? I have a wonderfully comfortable bed that would be great for reading. Why? Because I want to cuddle with the dogs and they aren’t allowed in the bed. That my friend is just one more excuse.

Are you getting the picture? Do you see how little things that don’t seem like excuses actually are?

What excuses are getting in your way of your dreams?

Making Fun of Me

Growing up I was made fun of for my clothes, my shoes, my hair, my home, my parents, my face, my glasses, my everything. I was continuously told everything that was wrong about me. Including being smart. It gave me a complex that I’m still working on today. There is a lot of baggage there that I have to unpack.

This baggage still creeps into my life today. Little things feel like big things. Little things like my husband giving my sarcastic crap about banging my hand on the corner of the counter as I walk by because I’m clumsy and it happens all the fucking time. We have been together for almost nine years and this isn’t the first time he has been sarcastic about it. But, this time and the time before it caused me to lose my shit.

I felt attacked. I felt like he was criticizing me. I felt like every time he acknowledges when I hurt myself, he is making fun of me. All of that emotion bubbled up and came out on him.

It isn’t unusual. Baggage builds up for years if it isn’t addressed. Then one day it explodes. And it probably explodes when you least expect it.

I took the approach of trying to understand why he continuously commented or pointed it out. He didn’t understand where my questioning was coming from since it has been “our well-known joke” for so many years. He couldn’t understand why all of a sudden I changed from joking about it with him to feeling attacked. We disagreed. Doors were slammed. Feelings were hurt.

He said he would stop. He said he would work on it but asked that I not expect an immediate change to an old behavior. He said he didn’t realize it was hurting my feelings. He didn’t understand the change in perspective.

Neither do I.

I don’t know that he should stop. Is this one of those things I should work on accepting? Is this one of those things that my baggage is causing more issues than necessary? Is this something I could actually lean into and have fun with?

Probably.

I should do the work, not him. It is an internal issue, not his issue. He is sarcastic by nature. I am sensitive and serious. Probably because I was made fun of. I probably got so serious because I was trying to avoid being made fun of. I got tired of getting picked on and feeling like shit. So I limited myself trying to become invisible to their comments.

Eddie isn’t making fun of me. He isn’t criticizing me. Eddie actually loves me and is a very sarcastic person. He is very easy-going. He is the complete opposite of me.

So what did I do?

After a few hours and during a walk with the dogs, I told him not to change. I told him I am going to work on my baggage issues. We talked about what might be causing my increased sensitivity to things that haven’t ever bothered me before. The discussion led to talking about other things I’m working on and through.

The lesson here? No matter how hard we work at unpacking our baggage, it may still creep back up into our daily life. Also, talk it out. You might not be able to talk it out right then, but cool off, journal or find a way to have some introspection, and then talk out whatever caused you to lose your shit. It doesn’t hurt to say sorry either. That is, sorry for losing your shit. Don’t apologize for being you and working through your baggage. Thankfully Eddie know’s I’m working on that and that I have to ponder on it. He just hopes I actually do ponder about it rather than just continuing to lose my shit on him.

Baggage may creep up, but we can work through. I can work through it.

Rise to Your Potential

Never let a good crisis go to waste. It’s the universe challenging you to learn something new and rise to the next level of your potential.”

Kristen Ulmer

I read this quote in Tribe of Mentors by Tim Ferriss and immediately it dawned on me that this is life right now. We are all living in this pandemic, this crisis. Life is challenging for everyone right now, some much more so than others. Either we can lean into this challenge and come out of it better than we came in, or we can stay stuck in the challenge and how we’ve been impacted.

I’m not going to lie. Other than not being able to get out into the mountains, I’m enjoying being “stuck” at home. I am blessed that I get to enjoy this time. I am not sick with the horrible effects of COVID-19, nor have I lost my job and am financially struggling. I am in my home, working on renovations, working at my awesome job enriching the lives of seniors, spending time with my husband and pups. I am blessed.

So how does this quote actually apply to my life?

This crisis has taken away some of my excuses for not being able to work on my dreams. It has also given me the ability to refinance and put more money into my home. The crisis has given me more opportunities to grow, both personally and professionally.

I am being challenged and my fire is burning brighter to bring this blog into something more than I’ve trudged along with. I’m being challenged to expand my way of thinking and conquer my fears.

When Kristen wrote the above quote, I am sure she had no idea what would come in just a few short years (the book was published in 2017). Nobody did. What she had was the experience of personal crises that led her to develop her next level potential. I believe that Kristen’s quote can apply to almost any crisis. The only qualifier is how each one of us looks at whatever crises we are living through.

The crisis today is the pandemic and the many stay at home orders that have been enacted across the country and the world. Life has changed dramatically in just a few short weeks. Or long weeks depending on how you look at them. This crisis is challenging every single human in one way or another. Most of us will come out of it. The question is, what will have changed for us personally when we do?

How are you going to use this crisis, this pandemic, to grow and come out the other side stronger? Are you even going to use this time to grow? Or are you going to sit at home and whine about how shitty it is that we can’t go shopping or out to eat or to hang out with other people? How are you going to leverage this time?

I’ll tell you what I’m doing to leverage it. I’m working my ass off. I’m working for the company I get a paycheck from to enrich the lives of seniors AND I’m working on my personal goals. I’m not giving up and complaining about what was normal and what I can’t have. I’m creating my own new normal. My new normal makes life different than just a few weeks ago and will have my life different as we come out of the crisis.

Are you still taking for granted all of the blessings you have?

Are you only complaining about what you can’t do?

Are you only recognizing the pain in our world?

Are you ignoring what opportunities have been opened by being home more?

Are you forgetting that this is temporary, even if that temporary is longer than you want?

Are you ignoring the fact that we as a society always come out to the other side?

What are you focusing your mind on?

Have you even stopped to ponder anything other than your frustrations?

Yes, this pandemic fucking sucks. Yes, people are dying, Yes, people have lost their jobs. Yes, people are working in shitty conditions. Yes, our economy is not as strong as it was. Yes, yes, yes. There is so much struggle and pain in this crisis. Yes, we need to acknowledge that. But those people who are working our asses off don’t need us to dwell on the pain and the struggle. They need us to get our shit together so we can come out the other side.

Getting our shit together will look different for every single person. Getting our shit together may be as simple as not going out just to go out. Getting our shit together may be going after those goals and dreams that we keep putting aside because that will help our economy in the long-run OR it might help one of those people working their ass off have a little humor or inspiration in their day.

What are you learning during this crisis? How are you going to rise to your potential?

Limiting Beliefs

Limiting beliefs have plagued my life for as long as I can remember. The difference between now and the past is that I actually know what limiting beliefs are and how to identify them. The problem today is whether or not I stop long enough to check-in with myself to identify the limiting beliefs floating through my mind.

No matter how much I learn about identifying and overcoming limiting beliefs, I still run into times when I have a light bulb moment and realize that I’ve been living through a season of believing one limiting belief or another. This happened to me recently and I want to share with you what I did once I identified it.

I say it, but actually there are a couple of limiting beliefs that I identified I was believing around the same time. One in my current profession and one for this website and my goals for it. I first identified my limiting belief with Failing Imperfectly.

I’ve been holding myself back in what I share and how I grow this website and the Failing Imperfectly YouTube. Why? A myriad of reasons. Mostly starting with fears that I’m not good enough yet. Yep, I still battle those fears. The fear of not being good enough yet spawns into the fear that I’m not qualified yet. Those two fears grouped together are why I haven’t grown Failing Imperfectly into what I want it to be.

I have kept my website limited and I’ve sure as hell limited my interactions with YouTube. I’ve kept telling myself that I can’t say this or that and that I can’t produce free downloads or programs because I am not far enough along in my own journey and because I have not been through a coach certification program yet.

I sat down to finish uploading a couple of free resources that I made based on one of my first YouTube videos and realized I really didn’t like my website. Why? Because I kept it very basic and refrained from making statements about what the website is about. I was trying to dabble in two completely different directions that didn’t compliment each other. I didn’t want to say that I was here to offer advice because I have not yet done a certification program. I didn’t want to mislead anyone and I didn’t feel qualified. But you know what? I have been misleading myself because I want to be out here inspiring you through real life examples of overcoming all of these challenges I keep sharing, but I didn’t want to consider my learning experiences worthy of being considered advice.

Yes, there are qualification programs for coaches and yes, I will probably participate in one or more in the future. But that shouldn’t stop me from doing what I know I can do today. What can I do? Take everything I learn from other coaches, from my mentors, and share it with you as I apply it to my life. As I learn, I also develop my own methods. I can share those with you. My limiting beliefs had me stuck in a hamster wheel spinning about adding only a small amount of value to your life. The only way I’m going to continue to improve is by doing what I do now and pushing into what I envision at the same time. I don’t need any specific certification to add value to your life by sharing mine and how I overcome challenges.

The second limiting belief I identified was after I had the above realization. I’ve been paranoid about being good enough for the role I have at work and being dedicated enough. Why good enough? I have absolutely no idea. I know I am good enough, even if I have things to learn to be an expert in my role. Dedicated enough? That comes from the current situation with everybody working from home and me not wanting to be seen as a slacker if I took a break. I do this with every job that I work from home with. It’s a recurring challenge for me. This time I identified it earlier.

How does this all connect? The limiting beliefs that I have been living through have been holding me back from the greatness I know I can achieve. How do I plan to overcome these limiting beliefs?

First, I updated my website and finally made some statements about what you will find here. I also uploaded some free resources that you can find here.

Second, I stoked the fire in me that wants to build this website into a coaching business. Yes, I dream of being a respected life coach. I don’t know if I want to be as well known as Rachel Hollis, but I’m not limiting myself to anything less than being a fucking awesome life coach.

And lastly, I need to take breaks while working because if I don’t, I burn out and produce shit for work. I have to take care of myself to be the best at anything I do.