Now that we are into February and everybody has either given up on their resolutions or they are kicking ass, it’s time to decide what is truly important to you. I’m going to be real with you here, I stopped setting New Year’s resolutions years ago, I think sometime around when the hip “new year, new you” slogan made it rounds. I was entrenched with the need to get my body even thinner and look like I did CrossFit even though I didn’t. I mean, I’d love to have those muscles, but my body has other plans. Instead of setting resolutions, I set goals. I set goals that have nothing to do with the new year. The goals I am currently working towards were revised in October and updated when I received my last promotion for my next career goal. I have my top ten that are stretch goals and then I have my goals that fit into those.
One of those goals was something I could feel but couldn’t put the words to until an influencer and journalist I follow posted them. It felt like what I couldn’t explain finally had an explanation. Her story with the words was so simple and had no detail behind it. For me, I didn’t need the detail. I already knew the detail. I just couldn’t get to these words that I didn’t know I was searching for.
Less noise, more depth.
So simple yet it explains my focus. It explains how I’m pivoting my life. I have so much I want to do with my life and career that I piled things on until I felt like I was buried and had no way out. I wouldn’t necessarily call it burnout or specifically overwhelm, but those were dashed in there. I felt like I had become the QUEEN of multi-tasking. I would wake up and meditate and journal. I would start off slow and peacefully. Then I dove into the piles of life. I want to take a second to say that the piles that I’m referring to are not necessarily negative things. The piles simply encompass a shit ton of things.
I would work remotely, which I’ve done really well for years, chat with my multiple friends between multiple methods of communication, tend to my dogs, listen to music, research this, plan that, jump to writing and reading and watching TV, cook dinner, and everything in between or around anything. I took on the stress of coworkers and friends alike. I tried to balance my ambition with those I spoke with most. This meant that I was hiding my ambition or telling myself that where I was was good enough. I wanted to make sure I didn’t piss any coworkers off. I wanted to cook elaborate dinners. Oh, how I love cooking these meals. I wanted to workout and move and multi-task to get all of the things done. I was ALWAYS on. Always.
All the while I struggled with the gut feeling I had to protect my health through this pandemic while others were less inclined to. I was glued to the numbers for our state every single day. As the fall went on, it became more and more stressful watching the numbers climb.
I hit a point around Thanksgiving when I received my promotion and I took time off for that week that I just was. I had big plans to accomplish activities towards my goals. I didn’t do them. I restrung my pre-lit tree from three strands to twenty-one strands of lights. Yeah, it’s fucking awesome now. I went back to work feeling like I needed some kind of change. I just didn’t know what. And then the week of Christmas arrived in which I took another week off of work. It hit me. I needed less in my life. Less stress. Less drama. Less complaining. Less negativity. Less pursuit of perfection. Less worry on pissing people off. Less multi-tasking. Less caring about other people’s opinions. Less stress about what I don’t feel comfortable doing. I also needed more. I needed more me-time. More focus on one thing at a time. More focus on love and positivity. More focus on letting loose and being silly. More depth in my relationships. More ambition. More doing of the things I feel drawn to.
I need higher vibrations. In Vibrate Higher Daily, Lalah Delia states “How you perceive the world around you, how you feel at any given moment, and the state of your overall well-being — physical, mental, and emotional — is all vibration.” Everything is vibration. The vibration we let into our lives determines the amount of noise in our lives.
I’ve had entirely too much vibration in my life that has left and still leaves me feeling depleted. I’m not here to tell you today that I’ve done a complete 180 in my life and have removed all vibration that doesn’t serve me. I haven’t. But I am taking small steps.
I no longer multi-task with work and chatting with friends consistently throughout the day and I’ve already noticed feeling lighter at the end of each work day. I don’t feel as behind as I did. I look back and think about one of my friends who said she couldn’t handle responding to messages throughout the day because she needed to focus on her work. I didn’t understand it when she said it. I do now. I’m planning easier meals throughout the week and one or two nights of meals that take more effort. I’m reducing the stressful news, media, or conversations in my day-to-day life. I’m increasing the deeper conversations. I’m increasing my focus on my ambition. I’ve done a couple of organization changes in my home to give me more peace in the areas I spend the bulk of my time. I’m being cautious about how I communicate, but I’m doing what is right for the company and our mission. I’m letting go of the pressure I put on myself to get back into a consistent workout schedule. I mean, it helps that I somehow strained one of my muscles in my arm somehow. I’m allowing myself to just be.
Less noise, more depth.
I’m focusing on less noise and more depth in my life. More meaning. More of what I need.
Less noise, more depth. I think we all need more of this in our lives.