We’ve been talking about going your own way and making the most of yourself, so today I wanted to talk about what it takes to do both. The truth is that no matter how much pressure we put on ourselves or how many times we say “today is the day” or how many new weeks, months, or years we plan to do something new, nothing happens or changes all at once. No matter what we do, that thing, that effort, that goal, they are always, absolutely always, achieved little by little.
I know you don’t want to hear this because I didn’t want to hear or accept it either. Think back to all of the accomplishments you have had so far, how did you achieve those? Little by little. You learned to walk as a toddler little by little. You got through grade school, then middle school, then high school, little by little. You learned how to write and read little by little. Hell, you learned to poo in the potty little by little. Do you get what I’m reminding you? Some of the simplest things that we take for granted that are true accomplishments were only achieved because we worked at them little by little.
The thing is, we tend to forget the effort that it took to achieve things from our past. Some of those things we never consider as an accomplishment because they are things we are “supposed” to do. Even if something is a thing that we’re supposed to do, like pooing in the potty, that accomplishment is celebrated by those around us. We simply forget that it was an accomplishment because while we were in the moment, we weren’t being introspective.
Here’s another example. I am one of the worst people when it comes to comparing myself to successful people. Or I should say, to other successful people. I don’t ever consider that the person I’m comparing myself to or wishing I could achieve a similar success of, is someone that got to where they are little by little. I recently received a promotion to director. I used to look at people who had the director title and forget to consider how they got there. I would be envious that they just became director. Um, no. They didn’t just become a director. They had to put in the fucking work and take the time to achieve success little by little.
Or what about this one. I look at others who have beautifully healed scars from surgery and forget that their scar took time to heal. It healed little by little. Some people heal a little faster through the little by little, but it still took time. I am 19 months into my healing and my scar is only starting to lose the deep purple coloring and flatten out. Little by little it is healing.
Are you catching on? No matter what it is you want, the only way to get it is little by little. Some of the chunks of success might be in big pieces, but it won’t all happen in one fell swoop.
When I tell you to go your own way, I sure don’t expect you to go all at once. I am not going my own way at the drop of a dime. I have to figure out what my own way is before I can go that way. And the only way to figure it out is little by little.
When I tell you to make the most of yourself and who you are, I am not saying make some sudden drastic change. I can’t even do that. I’m making the most of myself little by little.
Little by little I’m learning what my path is and who I am. I am learning little by little to let go of things that no longer serve me. Little by little I’m learning to embrace the parts of me I have always been ashamed of.
So far I have learned that my path is a winding road that includes many passions. I have continuously evaluated and re-evaluated whether or not I would continue on my path to inspire you. I’ve told myself that I can’t ever reach the influencer status that so many have. I’ve told myself my life would be easier if I stopped putting pressure on myself to write. I’ve told myself my life would be simpler if I didn’t have a public Instagram. I’ve told myself that since I started this thing or that, since I’ve already spent the money to do something, since I’ve told someone I’m going to start this other thing, I can’t put those things aside for what my soul is calling me towards right now. I’ve battled with myself on whether I could be a career woman and an entrepreneur or influencer or photographer or whatever at the same time. I’ve told myself that I have to be everything for everybody. I’ve also told myself that I can’t be friends with someone who doesn’t treat me exactly the way I treat them. Oh and I’ve even told myself that I can’t grow into myself because that isn’t the person who married my husband.
Little by little I continue to work on all of these thoughts. Little by little I either debunk them or twist them to be beneficial for my life.
Little by little I remind myself that I am not putting content and my thoughts out here to reach influencer status. Some year that could happen, but that is not my focus.
Little by little I give into the deep soul feeling that I will inspire at least one person and that that is why I continue to write and produce content for the public to see.
Little by little I remind myself that I am growing as I share with you and that my growth, my middle is way more important than some influencer status.
Little by little I let go of the pressure to see through something that I started or spent money on that no longer serves me.
Little by little I give myself grace to be who my soul calls me to be. I feel the strongest of pulls to expand my career and grow professionally while growing my hobbies or passions at the same time.
Little by little I let go of other people’s opinions. I have to work at it daily to not consider this person or that person when I write or when I put out content or when I dress comfortably or when I take that picture or when I do pretty much anything. Their opinion of me is none of my business.
Little by little I remind myself that if I put myself in a box to stay the woman that my husband married, I would be doing not only myself but him a disservice. Life is something to grow through, not something to stay stagnant and suppressed through.
Little by little I’m allowing myself to give the way I feel called to give to my friends while taking what they give. I remind myself that we can have many friends for many different reasons and not every friend has to fill every connection point.
Little by little I’m giving myself the grace to only give what I can comfortably give to others without putting myself or my needs aside. I come first.
Little by little I’m growing. Little by little I’m going my own way. Little by little I’m making the most of me and who I’m discovering I am.
As J.R.R. Tolkien said, “little by little, one travels far.”