Not Quite 60

Tomorrow my mom would have been 60. She should be having a party to celebrate her milestone year, but she died from Alzheimer’s when she was 56. I stopped talking to her for the final time when she was 49. Even before that, for the four or five years prior, I didn’t hardly speak to her. Do I regret it, no. Do I wish things were different, yes.

I was just talking to a friend about vow renewals and big parties. She wants to do a party for her and her husband’s 50th birthday. It made me realize, that if I waited to celebrate a milestone birthday like 50 and if I follow in my mother’s medical path, I won’t really know who I am or who other people are at 50. I wouldn’t make it to the milestone age of 60.

So I am most likely going to celebrate 40. Why be so morbid? Because why wait? Why wait to celebrate some age down the road when I can celebrate an age that is just around the corner?

I know, I might out-live my mother by 10, 20, or even 40 years (God I hope not), but I don’t know for sure. I won’t know until that time comes.

So while I am still young and have my wits about me (most of the time), I am going to live in the moment and I am going to live for today and I am going to celebrate. I mean, I don’t know what will happen between now and turning 40. Hell, I might even start celebrating every five years. Why not?

My mother didn’t get the option to celebrate frequently. She also didn’t know how to take care of herself to help her live longer. While I don’t regret not talking to her in her final years, I don’t want to waste a day not living the life I have now.

Happy Birthday mom. If only things were different.

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