I have lived most of my life trying to please what I thought were other people’s opinions of me. I lived in fear and shame because I never thought I could meet other people’s expectations. I made myself smaller and smaller and I bottled up all of my own personality so I could be liked.
I wanted to be loved. I wanted to meet their expectations. I didn’t want to disappoint them.
I stressed and stressed about what they might think. About how they would react if. About what they would say behind my back. About what they would tell me I did wrong, again, the next time we had a wine drinking night. About why they wouldn’t talk to me except for when we would see each other. About why they would say they wanted to do a vacation with us but scheduled it without us. About everything.
Here’s the thing that I hadn’t even thought of: other people’s opinions don’t matter. As Rachel Hollis says “what other people think of you is none of your business.”
No matter how hard we work on one area of our life to heal and let go or refrain, we still have other areas we hadn’t even considered looking at. This is one area that I have oh so much work to do.
That person that tells me what I do wrong every time we have a bit of wine over an evening, yeah, that person’s opinions are none of my business. That person who talks about me behind my back, yeah they probably don’t. The reaction of the person who doesn’t like what I’m doing, none of my business.
What other people think or say about me is none of my business. What is my business, is living true to who I am and my values. By living for other people’s opinions, I wasn’t living my life. I was living what I thought other people wanted for my life. No more.
Conversely, my opinion of other people is none of their business. They should be living their life for them.
No matter what direction the opinions are going, living my life for me is what is important.
Other people’s opinions are none of my business.