Kindness

If you are anything like me, you are kinder to everyone but yourself. At least, that is what feels like your first nature. You care more about being kind to someone else because you don’t want to offend them. You are kinder to most strangers than you are to yourself. Sound like you? No, then this might not be the post for you unless you want to learn about someone you care about. It does sound like you? Let’s continue the conversation.

Kindness is defined as the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate. I am generally automatically friendly, generous, and considerate to pretty much everybody. But, I can’t say that I am easily friendly, generous, or considerate to myself. This is something that I’m continually working on, but it doesn’t come naturally. But why? Why would I rather be kinder to other people?

MORE

Who You Are

I am not smart. I am not worthy. I am not capable. I am not deserving. I don’t work hard enough. I’m not from the right school or family. I am not.

I could go on and on about who or what I am not. In fact, I can bring up feelings of who I am not that I can’t even put words to. More often than not, I tell myself I am not something. Why? That is the negative, fixed mindset that I have overcome and continue to battle.

More

Your Close Circle

Have you heard the saying “you are the sum of the five people you spend the most time with”? I’m not sure who first said that or if I have it perfectly accurate word-for-word, but it is all over the personal development community. I shrugged it off for many years thinking that I could beat that saying.

I have great friends, they are just different from me and my desire to succeed and live a life with less drama. They sometimes complain about the little things where I have learned to shrug those off. They have a different outlook on how businesses operate and what it takes to be a great employee. Or they just don’t want to be a great employee. There is nothing against that. It’s just different from me.

I recently realized that yes, I do need more people in my life who are achievers and have similar growth goals and mindset. In my close circle, I am the most ambitious person. I don’t have anyone to speak to and challenge myself with. How do I find these people? I don’t know.

I won’t leave my close friends now. There is no reason to do so. What I need are a couple of people that I can get to know and grow with. I need people who are growth oriented and work towards goals bigger than where they currently are. I need people who aren’t afraid to call me out and that I can call out without pissing them off.

In essence, I want a second close circle. If they were to overlap some, then glorious. If not, then that is okay too. Growth isn’t easy. Having people close while we are challenging ourselves is important. If we don’t have a support system, growth may seem even more difficult. I’m just recognizing this and seeing that I need a growth support system. Now to figure out how to find one…

My Love Hate Relationship

I’ve talked in multiple other posts about when I quite alcohol and when I quit quitting. Ever since I decided to quit quitting, I’ve allowed myself to imbibe responsibility and in drastically smaller quantities than prior to taking about a year off. But, even with the lower quantities, I have realized something, my body and taste buds are not on the same page. I have a love hate relationship with alcoholic beverages.

I love the flavor of wine and some mixed drinks. I really liked the flavor of select craft brew seltzers. My body does not like the effects of alcohol. In fact, my body hates it. I’m not talking about hangovers or headaches or the typical effects you hear about. I’m talking about the whole body inflammation and increased anxiety that I get. I didn’t realize these were a thing until I all of a sudden had a drastic increase in them.

It took some time to realize that the alcohol is what is making these things worse. One of the worst ide effects is with my endometriosis. All of a sudden, the pain has started coming back and in the oddest time of the month. I couldn’t figure out why my uterus started hating me again. My joint stiffness and pain increased. My resting anxiety level (not a medical term) is drastically higher. My bloated feeling just won’t go away.

The only thing that has really changed is that I brought alcoholic beverages back into my life. This love hate relationship is really annoying because I can’t find gluten free, non-alcoholic beverages in Utah like I’ve heard other parts of the country has. I would love to have all of the delicious drinks I love without the alcohol included.

Does this mean I’m going to completely quit again? Probably not, but I won’t be drinking a glass of wine just because I feel like it. I’ll reserve drinking to special occasions or random date nights out (whenever those return). I will absolutely make myself virgin bloody mary’s because they are absolutely delicious. I will still cook with wine or other alcohols. But, you won’t find me just sipping on an alcoholic beverage because it is Friday and I can. I need to get rid of this inflammation and anxiety. Life was so much better without it.

Unique and Great

Our society does not embrace anything about anybody being unique. The goal we are taught from a very young age is to be like these people we are told should be our idols. We are taught to be like other people. Uniqueness is not celebrated.

Greatness is more often than not only considered being achievable when you’ve accomplished what society says success is. There are only a few people who are typically recorded as having achieved greatness in their life.

More