Kindness

If you are anything like me, you are kinder to everyone but yourself. At least, that is what feels like your first nature. You care more about being kind to someone else because you don’t want to offend them. You are kinder to most strangers than you are to yourself. Sound like you? No, then this might not be the post for you unless you want to learn about someone you care about. It does sound like you? Let’s continue the conversation.

Kindness is defined as the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate. I am generally automatically friendly, generous, and considerate to pretty much everybody. But, I can’t say that I am easily friendly, generous, or considerate to myself. This is something that I’m continually working on, but it doesn’t come naturally. But why? Why would I rather be kinder to other people?

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Life’s Reflection

On Tuesday we talked about taking up space. Today I want to talk about how we are living life.

For most of my life I lived my life so I didn’t upset specific people and so I could earn the love of other specific people. As I got older, moved out on my own, and started working in a professional environment, that need to not upset people expanded. The first 30 or so years of my life are absolutely a reflection of me not wanting to upset people. Over the past four years, I have started to live my life as a reflection of who I want to be. Of course, I didn’t just flip a switch. These past four years are intertwined with me not wanting to upset people and me living for who I want to be.

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Give Yourself Some Credit

When you stop to look at your life and where you’ve come since some date, say high school, do you ever give yourself credit? Or do you tell yourself that you haven’t done enough?

To be honest, until I heard this in some video I was watching, I hadn’t really thought about it. I am really good about looking ahead at what I want to achieve and at how difficult it probably will be to get there, but I don’t look back at how far I’ve come.

Why don’t we give ourselves credit? Because it is easier to berate ourselves for what we haven’t accomplished that to celebrate the things we have. It is easier to be negative about the things we keep saying we are going to do and don’t. So many influencers tell us to not look back because we aren’t going there. But if we never look back, we will never know how far we’ve come.

How far have I come? What do I need to give myself credit for?

A whole fucking lot.

I graduated high school. I went to college. And I obtained my master degree. I moved out of New Mexico, twice. I stood up for myself in a shitty relationship and left. I worked two, sometimes three jobs to get through college. Every time I was laid off, I got back up and kept going. I bought a home. I’m renovating our home. I bought my dream vehicle. I have a job that is rewarding and mission driven. I am happily married (and marriage isn’t easy!!). I have great friendships.

If I want to compare my life to my family, then I am not a drug addict or alcoholic. I didn’t settle with living off of other people or the government.

In general, I take care of myself. I take care of others. I’m a damn good friend and wife. I never settle and I don’t easily give up. I pursue excellence (or close to it) in everything I do. My life is what I make it and I’m making it a great life.

There, that’s some credit I really deserve to give myself. Now it’s your turn, give yourself some credit. It doesn’t have to be a full history. It could be something as simple as something you did yesterday. Or today. You could give yourself credit for being in the middle of accomplishing something. Give yourself credit for being in a good mood. Give yourself credit for getting out of bed this morning. It doesn’t matter. Just don’t forget to give yourself credit.

Give yourself credit for anything and everything. Be grateful for what you’ve accomplished.

I Am Truly Blessed

My birthday is coming up and my mother-in-law and two of my sister-in-laws asked me what I wanted. I honestly had no idea what to tell them. Things that I want at this point of my life are pretty expensive because I simply buy the little things. Right now, what I want includes a new camera body or additional mods to add to my 4Runner. I would never ask them for any of that because I don’t want them to spend that much money on me.

As I sat trying to figure out what to tell them, I realized how truly blessed I am. I go through my life every single day writing down the simple things I am grateful for from the last 24 hours and acknowledging other things I am grateful for as I am finishing my morning meditation, but I don’t stop and think about everything I am truly blessed with. These days, with the economy the way it is and people losing their jobs because of COVID, I am at what feels like, a unique spot in life. I am blessed to still have my well paying job with a company that is continuing to break barriers in our industry.

I am also blessed to have my home and all of our stuff that we can simply purchase as we want or need. Compared to when I was growing up, I don’t have to go without anything. If I want something, I buy it or I save and buy it. I am healthy, have what I need or want, and live in a safe place.

You know that saying ‘stop and smell the roses’, well, the same applies to gratitude. Stop and take notice of what you are blessed with. Be grateful for whatever you have along with your health. There are people who are far less fortunate than we are. I am truly blessed and grateful for everything.