Protect Your Health

Let me start this off by saying that I’m not using this post to tell you how to be healthy and I’m not giving any tips on how to lose weight. If that is what you are looking for, you won’t find it here. What I am talking about it is what I’m doing to make sure that I take care of myself first.

2020 has been a difficult year, nobody can deny that. With this difficult year, a lot of us have had to really get grounded in what we believe is important. For me, one thing has been my overall health. I started the year off not drinking and being impatient to get back to working out hard to get back to a specific weight. I was kind of working on my mental and emotional health, but not giving the effort I really wanted to. I wanted to start my new job off right and I did.

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Limiting Beliefs

Limiting beliefs have plagued my life for as long as I can remember. The difference between now and the past is that I actually know what limiting beliefs are and how to identify them. The problem today is whether or not I stop long enough to check-in with myself to identify the limiting beliefs floating through my mind.

No matter how much I learn about identifying and overcoming limiting beliefs, I still run into times when I have a light bulb moment and realize that I’ve been living through a season of believing one limiting belief or another. This happened to me recently and I want to share with you what I did once I identified it.

I say it, but actually there are a couple of limiting beliefs that I identified I was believing around the same time. One in my current profession and one for this website and my goals for it. I first identified my limiting belief with Failing Imperfectly.

I’ve been holding myself back in what I share and how I grow this website and the Failing Imperfectly YouTube. Why? A myriad of reasons. Mostly starting with fears that I’m not good enough yet. Yep, I still battle those fears. The fear of not being good enough yet spawns into the fear that I’m not qualified yet. Those two fears grouped together are why I haven’t grown Failing Imperfectly into what I want it to be.

I have kept my website limited and I’ve sure as hell limited my interactions with YouTube. I’ve kept telling myself that I can’t say this or that and that I can’t produce free downloads or programs because I am not far enough along in my own journey and because I have not been through a coach certification program yet.

I sat down to finish uploading a couple of free resources that I made based on one of my first YouTube videos and realized I really didn’t like my website. Why? Because I kept it very basic and refrained from making statements about what the website is about. I was trying to dabble in two completely different directions that didn’t compliment each other. I didn’t want to say that I was here to offer advice because I have not yet done a certification program. I didn’t want to mislead anyone and I didn’t feel qualified. But you know what? I have been misleading myself because I want to be out here inspiring you through real life examples of overcoming all of these challenges I keep sharing, but I didn’t want to consider my learning experiences worthy of being considered advice.

Yes, there are qualification programs for coaches and yes, I will probably participate in one or more in the future. But that shouldn’t stop me from doing what I know I can do today. What can I do? Take everything I learn from other coaches, from my mentors, and share it with you as I apply it to my life. As I learn, I also develop my own methods. I can share those with you. My limiting beliefs had me stuck in a hamster wheel spinning about adding only a small amount of value to your life. The only way I’m going to continue to improve is by doing what I do now and pushing into what I envision at the same time. I don’t need any specific certification to add value to your life by sharing mine and how I overcome challenges.

The second limiting belief I identified was after I had the above realization. I’ve been paranoid about being good enough for the role I have at work and being dedicated enough. Why good enough? I have absolutely no idea. I know I am good enough, even if I have things to learn to be an expert in my role. Dedicated enough? That comes from the current situation with everybody working from home and me not wanting to be seen as a slacker if I took a break. I do this with every job that I work from home with. It’s a recurring challenge for me. This time I identified it earlier.

How does this all connect? The limiting beliefs that I have been living through have been holding me back from the greatness I know I can achieve. How do I plan to overcome these limiting beliefs?

First, I updated my website and finally made some statements about what you will find here. I also uploaded some free resources that you can find here.

Second, I stoked the fire in me that wants to build this website into a coaching business. Yes, I dream of being a respected life coach. I don’t know if I want to be as well known as Rachel Hollis, but I’m not limiting myself to anything less than being a fucking awesome life coach.

And lastly, I need to take breaks while working because if I don’t, I burn out and produce shit for work. I have to take care of myself to be the best at anything I do.

Shame

Yesterday I posted this blurb on Instagram. And now I want to expand on it even further. You see, shame is something that we each deal with differently. We might see some of our shame journey in other people, but it is still different. No matter how different our shame is, we are not in this alone. You are not suffering through shame’s grasp alone. I am not alone in my shame.

Shame. That’s the topic of the coaching session I worked through tonight.

Shame. It’s the biggest issue I’m working through right now.
Shame. It is the first emotion I feel when looking at this video.

There are so many reasons I almost didn’t share this with you. It clearly shows the weight I’ve gained over the past 3+ years between the infertility treatments, traveling for my last job, and my inability to workout with my back/hips; I feel stupid dancing in the office for 30 seconds; and I was only confident for about a quarter of the 30 seconds.

The reason I decided to record myself doing this 30 second warm up to the coaching session is exactly all of that ⬆️. I share with you so many things from my personal growth journey, but I’ve also hidden other things.

Shame. Shame is what tells me I shouldn’t share what I struggle with.

Shame is exactly why I’m sharing it.

Shame keeps this battle raging within me every single day.
I didn’t start Failing Imperfectly because I wanted to hide behind shame. I started it to share my journey so that maybe I can inspire you to dig deep and get into the messy process of taking control of your life.

Shame is what makes me worry who reads this, making me afraid family and friends with think less of me.

Shame keeps so many of us hiding in the shadows. I don’t want to hide anymore. I want to grow to become a confident woman who loves myself for me, including ALL of my flaws, without caring about others’ opinions, spoken or unspoken.

Shame. I will take back my life.

Shame’s grip on me is slowly loosening. I will not give up.

Shame has told me for far too long that I’m not worthy or not good enough because I am different. Shame told me I was shit because I came from a rough childhood. I had no idea that there were others who struggled the same as I did, or very similarly. I was so sheltered in my shame, I was blind.

One thing Rachel Hollis said that really sticks with me is, “What if He made me this way on purpose? What if we need your weird?”.

What if He made me this way on purpose. I had never thought of it that way. I am who I am because I am who He wants me to be. I am my own kind of weird because He made me just the way I am.

Shame told me that who I am is wrong. His love tells me that who I am is who He created me to be.

No matter how many times I hear that, no matter how many times I read those quotes on Pinterest, it never sinks in. Shame overrides it.

I am here to tell you that you can overcome shame. I haven’t done it yet, but I will get there. I have seen it in so many of the coaches and influential women that I follow. I will continue to work on shame for the rest of my life if that is what it takes.

Is shame something you struggle with?

Mistakes

We all make mistakes. Small mistakes. Big mistakes. Mistakes that later become the best decision we could have made. Mistakes that others don’t even see as a mistake.

The problem with mistakes isn’t the mistake itself. Well, sometimes, but not always. For me, it is definitely living in fear every day, every hour, every minute, every second, that I will make a mistake. The fear keeps me from allowing myself to just live. The fear keeps me from reaching higher and higher in life. The fear literally runs my life.

But how did I get to this point? How does anybody get to this point?

I can tell you that I battle with this fear because of my upbringing. I was constantly getting yelled at for almost everything I did. My parents were always yelling at each other for the littlest things. I would get in trouble for everything my sisters did that was wrong in my parents’ mind.

The only mistake I couldn’t make was doing okay in school and graduating. I did better than okay in school, until college. Then I did okay. But that wasn’t a mistake.

Because I was always yelled at, I fear doing absolutely anything wrong. I had a few good years where I just didn’t give a shit. Alcohol enabled those years. I drank entirely too much. Most people would call that a mistake. I don’t. I was able to live almost carefree and just enjoy life. No, I wasn’t true to who I am as a person, but it was freeing to not care.

Once I came back to real life and started to care, my fear ballooned. I wish I could tell you that I’ve overcome this fear and I can tell you how to as well. But I haven’t.

What I can tell you is that I push the fear everyday. I push it so I can see that what I might think will be a mistake, isn’t. I push it so I can grow. Living my life in fear of making mistakes makes living a rewarding and happy life very difficult. To help overcome the fear, I work on my mind and beliefs.

I have a lot of messed up beliefs about life and how things should be. That gives into my fear of making mistakes. So, I listen to self-help books on audible while I get ready for work in the morning. I read self-help when I pick up my Kindle. I embrace those cheesy positivity quotes. I even share them. And I come here to share with you my experiences.

Fear is not easy to overcome. Fear is engrained in all of us. It’s how humans have survived so many years. But our fears do not evolve as we get older without work. Fear will not resolve itself as we coast through life.

Don’t let the fear of making a mistake hold you back in life. Challenge yourself. Break yourself.

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