Sabotage

I’m sabotaging myself. Yeah, you read that right. I have realized that I quickly and frequently sabotage myself in many, many ways. The most common is in my professional career. 

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Episode 35: Sabotage

Failing Imperfectly
Failing Imperfectly
Episode 35: Sabotage
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After finishing Believe IT by Jamie Kern Lima, I realized I have been sabotaging myself. In this episode, I talk about what I mean and the realization that I came to.

Be A Legend In Your Own Mind

“Be A Legend In Your Own Mind” is chapter 28 in 52 Ways to Live a Kick-Ass Life: BS-Free Wisdom to Ignite Your Inner Badass and Live the Life You Deserve by Andrea Owen that has stuck with me since I read it a few years ago. When I read that book, I created my own study guide to work through all of the topics I was reading about. This chapter is the one that stuck with me the most, and I printed the page from my study guide and hung it next to my makeup area. I see it every single day.

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Episode 31: Be A Legend In Your Own Mind

Failing Imperfectly
Failing Imperfectly
Episode 31: Be A Legend In Your Own Mind
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When we think of legends we think of people who are known across the world for one thing or another. Being a legend doesn’t mean you have to reach that level. Andrea Owen wrote a chapter in her book 52 Ways to Live a Kick-Ass Life: BS-Free Wisdom to Ignite Your Inner Badass and Live the Life You Deserve that has impacted my life for the years since I read it. I want to share with you how it has impacted me.

Life’s A Bitch

I heard this phrase more often than not when growing up. It was usually expanded on with “Life’s a bitch, then you die.”

My parents would say that. That was their whole outlook on life. They seriously could not find anything good in any situation. Life was only negative and only happened to them.

When you grow up with this mindset, it is really difficult to break. I started by knowing that there was more to life than living off of other people and living in dead-end jobs, barely making ends meet (of course, with other people supplementing your income), and that all it took was going after more. I started by changing my path after high school.

I went to college and I kept finding new jobs that would better support me. I worked two jobs most of college. This life was a bitch, but I wasn’t going to sit back and die.

I kept going. And going. And going. Soon enough, “life’s a bitch, then you die” wasn’t even part of my vocabulary. “Life’s a bitch” was, but that’s a drastic improvement.

Fast forward to today. Life is a bitch. But life is also rewarding and beautiful. And life is whatever the fuck you make it. So if your life is being a bitch, then you have to make the change to fix it.

If your path demands you walk through hell,

Now, life is a bitch, but I own that bitch. I am a bigger bitch. That hell I’m walking through, yeah I own that place too.

I took ownership of this shitty situation and I am going to come out of it with a better job that better aligns to my principles and values. I am going to work for a company that I feel good supporting. It might take a little longer to find that job, but this is my hell and I own it.

Life will always come at me. If I sit in the mindset that I was raised in that “life’s a bitch, then you die,” I’m going to wither away in a depressed state, not ever achieving anything. That is not who this girl is. I do not wither. I fight.

Just because I was raised with one mindset and listening to one phrase over and over again, doesn’t mean I have to stay there.

This life, this bitch of a situation, yeah, I’m making it my bitch and I’m not going to die.

What saying are you used to hearing that may need kicked to the curb?

Recovery

Recovery from anything is always going to be different for each person. Even recovery from back surgery.

Prior to my surgery, I did a lot of research online and in Facebook groups to learn about all the recovery tips, tricks, and timelines that I could. The problem I was finding was that most information that is published about recovery is about the slow recoveries. Those who don’t follow the slow recovery, also don’t see to share much of it.

It was actually very depressing. I primarily found information similar to: it will be a minimum of six to eight weeks before a person can consider returning to work; sex will be impossible for weeks to months; don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t; you’ll be on pain meds for weeks; don’t think about driving, you won’t want to anyways; walk, but don’t walk much; don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t; you’ll never workout again; don’t think about working out in the first year after surgery; you won’t be able to do anything fun for a long time; your surgery has a higher chance of failing than working; and so much more.

It was depressing.

But I didn’t let that stop me. What was more depressing was all of the limitations I was starting to hit because the nerve pain was just getting unbearable.

Yesterday I hit five weeks post-op. I’ve been working for the past three and a half weeks and back in the office for the past two (this is my third week back). I walk and I walk. I push myself to make sure I’m not sitting on my ass too much. I am slowly picking up more and more weight. I started doing ten squats and five modified push-ups on Monday. I was outside weeding the garden on Sunday. I will be outside tending my flower gardens this weekend. I am going camping next weekend.

I am not letting all of the depressing stats or recovery feedback determine the path of my recovery. I’m not over doing it, but I’m not sitting by and waiting for a specific number of weeks/months/years to start getting back to life.

The biggest thing I talked with my doctor about was listening to my body. He acknowledged that everyone is different. He acknowledged that I was stronger and took care of my body before surgery. I made it absolutely known to him that I will NOT be taking pain medication for very long. I didn’t.

If you are in a situation where you are recovering, take into consideration the research posted and other people’s experiences, but realize you are on your own journey. Talk with your doctor. Get yourself into the right mindset. I swear, mindset is more than half the battle in any recovery, whether it be a from a cold or surgery. Mindset won’t heal the muscles, etc., but it will help you to get back to life and do what YOUR body can do.

Don’t let recovery mean you are incapable of life. Go into your recovery knowing it may be slow and that your definition of slow is different than everybody else’s. Your recovery is different than everybody else’s.

You’ve got this.