Tag: parents

Embarrassed

Embarrassed. That’s how I have lived most of my life. I’ve always been embarrassed for one reason or another. Why? Because I heard so many negative things about so many people, including me, that I was so afraid to be one of those people who prompted the negativity. I didn’t want to continue being the person people made fun of for anything and everything. … Read More Embarrassed

Cheerleader

Most of my life, I’ve always diminished my successes when I am speaking about them. Alright, all of my life. I have also diminished my health or personal issues.  When someone else congratulates me or brags about me with me around, I try to minimize the effect. Why? Because I haven’t wanted to stand out and be considered conceited. Throughout my childhood, I grew … Read More Cheerleader

Words of Affirmation

I started listening to The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman. I’ve taken the quiz before, in fact, multiple times, but I had not yet read or listened to the book. I can’t even remember what I determined my love language is. As of writing this, I can’t even tell you all of the love languages. What I can tell you is what … Read More Words of Affirmation

Hiding

If you will not reveal yourself to others, you cannot reveal yourself to yourself. Jordan B. Peterson I have been hiding for many years. In fact, I have been hiding for so long, that I am only beginning to learn who I truly am and what I truly want from life. I hid from everyone else because I’m ashamed of my childhood. I hid … Read More Hiding

Feeling

Feelings are something that I’ve had a love/hate relationship with for my entire life. For most of my life, I haven’t wanted to feel. I just wanted to be. I built up walls so absolutely strong that nothing could break them down. Until they did crumble. At some point during my childhood, I learned how not to feel. Not to feel the pain of … Read More Feeling

Me Against Them

I recently came to realize that I have a, ‘it’s me/us against them’ mentality. I’m not exactly sure what brought me to this realization, but it happened and I’ve sat on the thought for a while before wrapping my head around sharing it. I know where it comes from, now I just have to do the work to recondition myself. This mentality stems from … Read More Me Against Them

Mistakes

We all make mistakes. Small mistakes. Big mistakes. Mistakes that later become the best decision we could have made. Mistakes that others don’t even see as a mistake. The problem with mistakes isn’t the mistake itself. Well, sometimes, but not always. For me, it is definitely living in fear every day, every hour, every minute, every second, that I will make a mistake. The … Read More Mistakes

Talking to myself…

Have you ever considered how often you talk to yourself? I do it ALL the time. Seriously! There are times that I am thinking about something and I’m in a public bathroom and find myself audibly thinking about it. Yup, random people just caught me talking to myself. Embarrassing right? For me, not as much as you would think. I mean, I probably won’t … Read More Talking to myself…