Who You Are

I am not smart. I am not worthy. I am not capable. I am not deserving. I don’t work hard enough. I’m not from the right school or family. I am not.

I could go on and on about who or what I am not. In fact, I can bring up feelings of who I am not that I can’t even put words to. More often than not, I tell myself I am not something. Why? That is the negative, fixed mindset that I have overcome and continue to battle.

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I Will Never….

…be able to run again.

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Those were the first thoughts I had when I sat in my chair to do my Start Today journaling. My first thoughts were about what I don’t have and won’t have the rest of my life.

Most of us are wired like this. We are wired to see the negative in absolutely everything. It is more difficult to see anything positive. It’s as though our minds are wired for negativity.

We can change that. I changed that thought.

I changed my “I will never run again” thought to “I’m thankful I am able to walk without the pain I had.”

Changing your thoughts takes practice. I can honestly say I still have a long way to go with improving my thoughts, but the fact that I was compelled to immediately switch that thought this morning gave me all the feels.

I felt progress. I felt immense gratitude. I felt happy. I felt the love I’ve developed just for walking.

I may not be able to run again, but dammit, I can walk. I can walk more than 2,500 steps a day without feeling like wanting to rip my hips out. I can walk over 10,000 steps a day once again. I can schedule vacations and events that require walking and standing without worrying how I’m going to sit down the whole time.

I may not be able to run, but I can move my body. I am grateful for the improvement I have and grateful for being able to see the good over the negative.