Criticism

Criticism can come in many forms and from just about anybody. Not only do we receive criticism, but we also give it, sometimes without even realizing we are. A lot of people, myself included, have a deep fear of criticism. Sometimes that fear is all-encompassing, sometimes it is about specific forms of criticism. And sometimes our criticism is actually us showing we care about a person.

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Episode 42: Criticism

Failing Imperfectly
Failing Imperfectly
Episode 42: Criticism
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I had a conversation with someone recently that prompted me to really think about criticism I have received and then I saw a quote by Lewis Howes that kind of put it all together. Today I am going to share my thoughts from this about giving and receiving criticism.

Boundaries

What does the term boundaries mean to you? Does it mean the common definition of boundary that states a boundary is a line that marks the limits of an area or is a limit of a subject or sphere of activity? Or does it mean something different? To me, it depends on what we are talking about. If we are talking about a property boundary, the definition above is what I think of. But if we are talking about life in general or relationships, my definition is a little different. I have defined boundaries in life or relationships simply as being the boundary that I establish to protect my peace.

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Episode 37: Boundaries

Failing Imperfectly
Failing Imperfectly
Episode 37: Boundaries
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What does it mean to you to have boundaries? I learned something new and I want to share with you how I’m going to be applying it to my life and my definition of boundaries.

Less Noise, More Depth

Now that we are into February and everybody has either given up on their resolutions or they are kicking ass, it’s time to decide what is truly important to you. I’m going to be real with you here, I stopped setting New Year’s resolutions years ago, I think sometime around when the hip “new year, new you” slogan made it rounds. I was entrenched with the need to get my body even thinner and look like I did CrossFit even though I didn’t. I mean, I’d love to have those muscles, but my body has other plans. Instead of setting resolutions, I set goals. I set goals that have nothing to do with the new year. The goals I am currently working towards were revised in October and updated when I received my last promotion for my next career goal. I have my top ten that are stretch goals and then I have my goals that fit into those. 

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Episode 11: Never Say Never

Failing Imperfectly
Failing Imperfectly
Episode 11: Never Say Never
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We always are told to never say never and there are many times that never holds true. But there are a lot of times that never doesn’t actually mean never. This episode talks about one thing that never didn’t mean never.

Episode 10: Respect Yourself

Failing Imperfectly
Failing Imperfectly
Episode 10: Respect Yourself
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What does it mean to respect yourself? How do I respect myself? I talk about a few things I am serious about in making sure I show myself some respect.

Stop Treating Me Like I’m Stupid

My husband and I were talking about something recently that hit a trigger of mine. The thing is, I hadn’t realized it was a trigger until after this situation. I can’t even remember what we were talking about, but I remember the feeling I had. It was the feeling that he was saying something in a tone or in a way that made him come off as though he was all-knowing and that my thought or my lack of knowledge on the subject brought out my stupidity. I felt like he was telling me I was stupid and his thought was the only thing that could be right. 

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Your Close Circle

Have you heard the saying “you are the sum of the five people you spend the most time with”? I’m not sure who first said that or if I have it perfectly accurate word-for-word, but it is all over the personal development community. I shrugged it off for many years thinking that I could beat that saying.

I have great friends, they are just different from me and my desire to succeed and live a life with less drama. They sometimes complain about the little things where I have learned to shrug those off. They have a different outlook on how businesses operate and what it takes to be a great employee. Or they just don’t want to be a great employee. There is nothing against that. It’s just different from me.

I recently realized that yes, I do need more people in my life who are achievers and have similar growth goals and mindset. In my close circle, I am the most ambitious person. I don’t have anyone to speak to and challenge myself with. How do I find these people? I don’t know.

I won’t leave my close friends now. There is no reason to do so. What I need are a couple of people that I can get to know and grow with. I need people who are growth oriented and work towards goals bigger than where they currently are. I need people who aren’t afraid to call me out and that I can call out without pissing them off.

In essence, I want a second close circle. If they were to overlap some, then glorious. If not, then that is okay too. Growth isn’t easy. Having people close while we are challenging ourselves is important. If we don’t have a support system, growth may seem even more difficult. I’m just recognizing this and seeing that I need a growth support system. Now to figure out how to find one…

My Love Hate Relationship

I’ve talked in multiple other posts about when I quite alcohol and when I quit quitting. Ever since I decided to quit quitting, I’ve allowed myself to imbibe responsibility and in drastically smaller quantities than prior to taking about a year off. But, even with the lower quantities, I have realized something, my body and taste buds are not on the same page. I have a love hate relationship with alcoholic beverages.

I love the flavor of wine and some mixed drinks. I really liked the flavor of select craft brew seltzers. My body does not like the effects of alcohol. In fact, my body hates it. I’m not talking about hangovers or headaches or the typical effects you hear about. I’m talking about the whole body inflammation and increased anxiety that I get. I didn’t realize these were a thing until I all of a sudden had a drastic increase in them.

It took some time to realize that the alcohol is what is making these things worse. One of the worst ide effects is with my endometriosis. All of a sudden, the pain has started coming back and in the oddest time of the month. I couldn’t figure out why my uterus started hating me again. My joint stiffness and pain increased. My resting anxiety level (not a medical term) is drastically higher. My bloated feeling just won’t go away.

The only thing that has really changed is that I brought alcoholic beverages back into my life. This love hate relationship is really annoying because I can’t find gluten free, non-alcoholic beverages in Utah like I’ve heard other parts of the country has. I would love to have all of the delicious drinks I love without the alcohol included.

Does this mean I’m going to completely quit again? Probably not, but I won’t be drinking a glass of wine just because I feel like it. I’ll reserve drinking to special occasions or random date nights out (whenever those return). I will absolutely make myself virgin bloody mary’s because they are absolutely delicious. I will still cook with wine or other alcohols. But, you won’t find me just sipping on an alcoholic beverage because it is Friday and I can. I need to get rid of this inflammation and anxiety. Life was so much better without it.