Fear: I Can’t Do What I Need in My Own Home

Not long ago we had company for a week. Company that we love having and wouldn’t want to push away. But I work from home. And I tend to work in more locations than just the office with the desk. I have a lounger section of our couch and the kitchen counter that I work from. Working on a laptop makes it easy to have a spare charging cord for mobility and moving wherever I feel.

But, when we had company, I felt like I was stuck in the office. It came to a point that I had to make a decision: let my feelings make me feel like a prisoner because I thought it would be rude to work where I’m the most comfortable, or do what my body needed and find a middle ground.

You see, it isn’t as easy as just hanging out together doing our own thing, the company requires the TV on all day, louder than I prefer. I can’t work with TV all day. I felt like I would be rude if I told the company that they had to turn the TV off or down to accompany me. I felt like I would be an asshole to this person. Some people would tell me that I am rude for just writing about this situation or that I’m being selfish or nitpicky about the situation.

But I really needed my spot on the couch. It was the days before my period and my back was tired. It needed different support than my office chair, I probably could have even laid down some. I physically couldn’t stay in the office without getting more and more uncomfortable.

So, I had to choose, give in to my fear or do what I needed for me.

I chose to try to find a middle ground. I get up and start working much earlier that the company gets up for the day, so I definitely worked on my couch then. As different calls came up I worked with the company to make sure we both got what we needed.

Yes, I felt like a major asshole, but this is my house and I have a right to take care of myself. I have always feared doing something for me over inconveniencing someone else. I ALWAYS put myself out so I wouldn’t cause any issues for anybody else. Fear was running my life in these situations. I deserve to be cared for by myself. Nobody will care for me more than I care for myself and nobody should. Nobody will give me permission to care for myself, I have to give myself that permission.

I am slowing learning to work through my fears and overcome them, especially when it comes to inconveniencing or putting out other people. I 100 percent deserve the same care and respect I give them before I give it to someone else. I am slowing learning to respect for and care for myself first. By caring for myself first, I can give more.

Let that sit with you for a minute. The more I care for myself first, the more I can give. Does that sound backwards to you? It did to me the first time I heard it. Now that I’ve worked on it and started putting myself first, I find it to be so true.

You have to fill your cup before you can fill anybody else’s cup. You can’t give from an empty cup. You can’t give from a tired, worn out self.

You do you and you do you first.

My Own Path

Dare to forge your own path.

When I first started out on this journey with this blog, I was under the impression that once I hit it big and was making good money, I would quit my project management career and be a full-time blogger. I then advanced that thought to becoming a well-respected life coach. Either way, I saw the only option of being a life coach as my path forward.

Every time I thought about it, I got an uneasy feeling in my stomach — but I love my career. I didn’t want to give up on being a life coach because I feel that I am called to share my life experiences and passion for helping others through this avenue, but I also didn’t want to give up on my career that I am also passionate about. Oh and then there is the overlanding passion that is blossoming. Why do I have to choose just one?

The answer is, I don’t. There is no reason that I have to choose just one. During one of Marie Forleo’s YouTube videos or in her book, she brought up the term ‘multi-passionate entrepreneur’. My heart exploded in fire. She explained how she didn’t want to do just one thing and that she had many passions. She struggled with choosing just one and came to the realization that she didn’t have to.

And that is where I am. I am going to be a well-respected life coach, overlander, and project manager who kicks ass at all of them. I’m going to kick ass in my own way. I’m not going to follow any well-defined path from any who have come before me. I will learn as I go and be who I am. I know that it may take longer to advance my life coaching and overlanding businesses while being a career project manager, but I’m okay with that.

I’m going to forge my own path and be all that I want to be. I don’t have to give up on one passion because I want to pursue another. At some point, my passions will probably cross and that is okay. Actually, that would be freaking awesome.

Hop on the train because this is going to be one wild ride. I’m pursuing three big passions and I’m not going to be perfect in any of them. I’m doing it the imperfect way. Are you going to come along for the ride and be an Imperfect Warrior who forges her/his own path?