I Am A Vault

I am a vault for all of my friends’ problems. I am a vault for anybody’s problems.

I haven’t always been this way though. My need to be liked and my craving for people caused me to break barriers I never thought I would. It also caused me to do anything to keep the attention of anybody who I thought might care for me, even when it caused other people grief. Then I learned. I learned what I did wrong. It took years to realize I was part of the problem.

Since then, I’ve made a commitment to myself and silently to my friends and family that I will never share anything that might be gossip or something they told me in confidence. I won’t join in on anybody complaining about others.

I am a vault and I take in other people’s problems like a sponge. A sponge that can never be wrung out.

As I have learned from experience, I have learned how to help other’s face their problems. Because of this, my friends tell me all of their problems. We have a little quad and I am the one most of them come to when they need to talk or need to get something off of their mind. If they are having trouble with a significant other, I am one of the few to hear about it. They know that I will not share with the others.

Some of my family, my oh so messy family, trusts me the same way. Some, don’t care who they tell what to. If any of my family members tell me something I know they don’t want everybody else knowing, then nobody will ever hear it from me. How do I know what they care about being shared and what they don’t? By who they tell it to. There are some people in our family who don’t keep any secrets. If they know, then I still generally refuse to gossip about it.

Through the years I have learned what gossip and over-sharing can get me. It hasn’t been pretty. I’ve lost dear friends. I’ve been dumb.

I can’t fix problems, but I am a vault of other people’s problems and those people know they can always come to me.