Me Time

I know you’ve heard a lot about me-time in recent years, but I want to talk about it today. I want to talk about it in reference to something I recently realized in my own life: my me time does not simply mean a couple of hours to myself. I need more.

When I was traveling for work, a couple of hours a day was all I needed. Well, that and a weekend day once in a while that had zero plans. But since I hadn’t traveled for work in a year and neither of us were taking our own small trips, I didn’t realize what made those couple of hours be enough.

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Episode 26: Me Time

Failing Imperfectly
Failing Imperfectly
Episode 26: Me Time
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I know you hear a lot about me time from life coaches and influencers all of the time, but hear me out. I thought I was doing me time right, until I realized that the me time that is typically recommended by others, isn’t all that I needed.

Why Don’t We Keep Dating?

Dating is such a wonderful thing. We are energized and excited to get to know another person. We are exploring places we might have already been, but with a new person so it feels new. We hold hands. We hug on each other. We kiss often. So much laughing and giggling and love.

Then as the years add up, dating becomes less important. We see each other all of the time and know pretty much everything there is to know. We rarely hold hands or kiss, especially around other people. We just live life each day and don’t focus on the things that kept us as physically close as we used to be. Less giggling, some laughing, a different kind of love.

As time goes on, there is less conversation. Things we never cared about before start to becoming extremely annoying. We get on each others’ nerves easier. The love is there, but life has changed and so has the relationship since we fell in love.

But why? Why do we lose the dating? Why does everything become so serious? Why do we forget about the little things that used to bring us closer together?

I don’t know. I don’t have an answer for any of this. What I do know is, that no matter how good or even great our relationships may be, the loss of dating and these little things make a big difference in our daily lives. I also think that right now, today, the day this is posted, we are living in such a different time in life that is challenging all of us. Some of us are spending literally all day every day with our spouse. We might only have a wall, separate ends of the house, or different levels of our house between us. We are always around each other. While, yes, we agreed to a life together, we may need time away from one another.

I think Eddie and I are definitely at this point. We spend too much time together and things that never used to bother one of us, are definitely bothersome. We are finding new ways to be apart while being together. I’m going to the grocery store by myself more often. I’m sending him to his cousin’s and best friend’s. We are finding new ways to get out that won’t put us in a position of encountering someone who may be ill. We are working to get into the mountains more without being at popular destinations. I’m pushing for us to find our own hobbies and goals more than I ever have.

While going out on dates right now is not as easy as it once was, there are things we can try to do to change up our seemingly monotonous days. I saw a TikTok where a couple wrote up a list of things to shop for that reminds or describes the other person. Those became gifts for each other. It looked fun and like a great way to date while working around social distancing.

Let’s get creative and find new ways to date after many years in our relationships. We’ve got to bring back those feelings we had early on and laugh and giggle and kiss again.

Who Am I?

I am Crystal, a strong, beautiful woman. I am a women who knows her values and lives by them. I am a proud, successful woman who never settles for less than what I know I can earn through hard work and dedication. I am an adventurer. I am me.

Notice, I didn’t say I am a project manager or I am a wife or I am a dog mom. I am those things, but those things don’t define who I am to my core. Those are things that are who I am because my core shapes them. Being a wife is shaped by who I truly am. Being a project manager comes from who I am to my core. Being a dog mom comes from the love I have and can give to these precious pups.

Who we are is not defined by who we are attached to or what we do for work. Who I am is not defined by anybody but myself. Who you are is not defined by anybody outside of yourself. You disagree? Then there are some changes you need to make in your life.

I am an individual before I was ever anything else. If I were to represent my union before myself, then I would be discounting who I am for who we are. I do not expect my husband to represent us before himself. He sure as hell tries (the stupid ‘happy wife, happy life’ way of thinking), but I don’t want our relationship to come before each of us as an individual.

I am an individual before I am an employee or manager. Being true to who I am and being me first helps me to be a better employee and manager. By bringing my individual experience and beliefs and education to my role, I can have a diverse team that works well together.

Who are you? Have you sat and thought about who you would be if you didn’t have your spouse, your children, your pets, your job, anything other than yourself?

Who are you?