Who are you when no one is watching? Trent Shelton asked this question on a recent podcast, and it gave me all of the feels. Who am I? Who am I in front of other people? Who am I when I am solely in my own company? Do I know?
I can’t say that I do know. I know the values that drive me, and I remind myself of them every single day.
I envision that once I answer this question, I will take better control of my life, and I will give myself direction to live by.
So how do we figure out who we are when no one is watching? That’s a damn good question!
I’m going to start with my values. I know my values are:
- I am honest
- I am courageous and authentic
- I act with integrity
- I am committed to growth and learning
- I choose positivity
- I am compassionate and empathetic
- I am a good communicator
A couple of my values that I know I need to work on towards myself are honesty, compassion, and empathy. I am way more honest, compassionate, and empathetic towards other people than I am with myself. This goes back to the growth I am doing to develop and nurture my self-esteem and self-confidence.
I want to be a woman who challenges herself while also caring for herself. I want to nourish my soul, body, and mind. I want to do what I say I’m going to do. I want to live a purposeful life. I haven’t defined what that means yet, but I know that sharing my growth with you is part of it. I want to be the woman that I look up to and could have used as a role model or mentor as I was growing up.
I know that when no one is watching, I don’t want any part of drama or gossip. I don’t want to impact another person’s life negatively. I don’t want to do something that I don’t consider worthy of my time.
As I’m writing this, I am sitting in our home by myself for a week. No one is watching. What am I doing? I am taking care of shit. I am cleaning things up, getting rid of clutter (sorry honey for the garage, we’ll have a yard sale when you are back), and I am keeping my booty off of the couch like I’ve said multiple times to Eddie that I want to. Well, I am taking breaks and resting, but that isn’t to sit and watch TV for hours. I am reading and working on the craft project I started. Oh, and in case you were wondering, reading doesn’t count as my booty on the couch because I am working on my mind, not mindlessly watching TV or scrolling social media. I am cleaning up as I make the mess instead of leaving it for later.
I want to be the person who lives up to my complaints or nagging. If I am complaining about something Eddie does or doesn’t do, am I doing the same thing, or am I getting shit done?
Who am I when no one is watching? I am a woman who lives up to her values, putting herself first. I am intentional and purposeful. I love and encourage myself just as I would any other woman. I look to the future but live fully in the present. I work through things that are bothering me instead of letting them fester.
Who am I when no one is watching? I want to define this more, but in just a few minutes I’ve spent with you here, I’ve worked through a few things, and I feel more at peace now that I have developed my starting place.
Who are you when no one is watching?