I am not smart. I am not worthy. I am not capable. I am not deserving. I don’t work hard enough. I’m not from the right school or family. I am not.
I could go on and on about who or what I am not. In fact, I can bring up feelings of who I am not that I can’t even put words to. More often than not, I tell myself I am not something. Why? That is the negative, fixed mindset that I have overcome and continue to battle.
I quite often hold myself back because I tell myself I am not. Not what? Not whatever is needed to get the thing that I want or desire. For instance, every since I started my current job, my boss has talked to me about me growing into a management role that would be created for me. We are a small company, so that is not abnormal. The problem is that I keep telling myself that I am not going to achieve this promotion? Why am I not? Because I am not old enough, mature enough, credentialed enough, respected enough, at the company long enough, dedicated enough……. You get the point. Any time it comes up, I get super excited because it is a huge accomplishment for me, but then my subconscious tells me all the reasons I am not.
My subconscious is trying to protect me, but it is also holding me back. I am so much more than all of those things that my subconscious tells me I am not. I work my fucking ass off and get shit done. I look out for the business and the company. I work well with others and look out for them as well. I am putting in the effort and the dedication. That management position is all me. I am that manager.
So, how do we work to be who we are rather than who we are not? We keep putting ourselves in check. Anytime that we tell ourselves that we can’t or we are not, we ask ourselves why. We need to be clear in our evaluation of these situations to make sure we are not simply making excuses to justify why we are not. If you have to, write it out. Whatever you do, don’t simply focus on writing out or coming up with all the reasons you are not. You absolutely must focus on why you are and who you are. In fact, do that as the second piece, not the first. Focus on the negative and then the positive. Leave your evaluation on a positive note, not a negative one.
You are. I am. Let’s stop holding ourselves back.